From Jordan:

Snuck into frat party drunk off of my ass. Fell over, knocked sorority girl down, spilled both of our drinks. Frat guys go ape shit, chase after me. Run through house for dear life, turn corner, grab random girl, start making out against wall, frat guys run past me. Keep making out for 5 more minutes, forget about frat guys. boyfriend of girl finds me, I run for dear life again, this time into middle of street. Cop sees me, get arrested for public intoxication, but didn’t get beat up by frat guys or BF. I win

Only in College…

From Jordan:

Back in freshman year our dorm RA was a complete tool. I don’t want to get into the specifics of why he was, so just take my word for it. Anyhow, my dorm mates and I caught him coming home completely wasted. He walked by our doors mumbling something stupid, and drooling from his mouth. He had the stupid drunk look that people get when they are hammered. It is fair to say he looked like a cross between Java the Hut and the Elephant man at the time. It was quite the scene I tell you. After a few more games of Halo, my friends and I were on our way to another dorm mates room when we noticed Mr. RA passed out in the middle of the hall. … Opportunities like these are hard to come by. Carpe Diem I say, seize the moment!

Something was surely going to be done.

We phoned one of our girlfriends to bring over her fairy Halloween costume. It was one of those two piece silver costumes: short skirt, skimpy top, and two beautiful wings and a fairy rod. We’ve all seen girls dressed in this costume. If you don’t have a mental image in your head, google fairy costumes.

With great caution we removed his pants and shirt, and replaced them with the fairy skirt and top. He looked so cute in it, his mother would be so proud! Then we rolled him over and attached the wings with some duct tape. To top it off we put the rod in his hands. Then we had our girlfriend apply some lipstick and mascara. After some deliberation we decided that he really needed some painted fingernails to really complete his look.

I shit you not, he woke up the next morning in the same stupid spot, to the entire dorm hall laughing hysterically at his stupid self. He had no idea he was in a fairy suit. It was hilarious watching his facial expression going from “WHAT THE F*CK” to “WHAT THE F*CK IM IN A FAIRY COSTUME F*CK MY LIFE.” He received a standing ovation and round of applause from the entire hall. The worst part about it was the fact that he had an RA meeting that very morning. He fell asleep in his bed, with the costume still on, only to be woken up a few hours later by other RA’s who were checking up on him because he was absent from the mandatory meeting. It was a fabulous day.

His nickname is “Fairy,” and we love it.

Only in College

From Tom:

This happened in my freshmen year in the dorms. I had planned to drink the night after I conquered 3 exams in the same day. Immediately after my last exam, I dashed back to my dorm room and started celebrating by pounding shots of vodka to release my stress. It was a Tuesday night, so my friends did not partake in my fiesta. Call me an alcoholic, but everyone should understand the pressure and anxiety that comes along with studying for 3 exams on the same day! I do not remember what happened the rest of the night, but according to my friends and the housefellow’s report, this is the story:

I went to dinner with them. We got food, but for some smart reason, I left after one bite into my sandwich, called my friend, “You’re a fag.” Sprinted back to my room, but not before I stole eggs from somewhere, and threw the eggs at our dorm floor’s bulletin board. The bulletin board was right outside the housefellow’s room. She heard me giggling when I threw the eggs, followed me back to my room where she found me puking in my room with the door open. My friends finished their late dinner and mine, and they found the housefellow holding me up to make sure my puke would make it into the trash can. Our housefellow wanted to take me to detox but thankfully my friends somehow convinced her that I did not need to go to detox and that they will take turns watching me to make sure I don’t die.

I woke up tomorrow with the worst hangover of my life: like knives penetrating through my head. What made matter was, I had to meet with the dorm officials. They kicked me out of the dorm for underage drinking. Good, because according to my friends, the dorm room reeked of my vomit smell for the rest of the semester. I hated my roommate anyways.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

My friends and I all were all out drinking, and I was the first to pass out….with my shoes on. I wake up with wax strips across my stomach, legs, and arms. The only way to get the damn things off was to rip them. I looked like a zebra for the following 2 months. I still haven’t forgiven my friends to this day.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

Tues: The binge drinking started on St. Patty’s day in Milwaukee. My friend picked me up at the airport, and immediately we went to a bar. According to my credit card statement, spent $110. No black out.

Wed: The next day, I am in Madison, half off drinks at one of my favorite bars. I ordered 3 tall whiskey and sours. The bartender said 9 bucks! WOOT! Started double fisting. Blacked out. According to CC statement, spent $70.

Thurs: More drinking at the Dells. We did not bring enough booze. No black out.

Fri: Wisconsin played Florida St. My two friends and I drank a whole bottle of whiskey before even going to the bars. I do not have any recollection of the second half of the game except for the last 10 seconds of the game when Trevon somehow acrobatically made the game winning layup. According to my friends, at the bars, we took more shots, bought more drinks, took MORE shots. Ate Ian’s pizza drunk. Blacked out. According to my CC statement, this was all true.

Sat: By nighttime, my body was telling me to stop. I went where my heart lead me and continued to drink. Spent only $30. No black out.

Sunday and Monday: Brief Hiatus.

Tues: Flip night, 75% off, bartender was an old friend. 2 Shots, 2 beers, $3.75. 3 Irish car bombs, $3. According to my CC statement, I spent about $40 that night. Blacked out.

Wed: Half a bottle of wine to start my night. Then a repeat of last Wednesday night. Blacked out. Wine = worst hangover EVER.

Thurs: Boots at Ramhead, $12 German Beer, $10 Spotted Cow. No cc statement yet from Thursday. No black out.

Fri: Met up with some old friends for lunch at the Key, discovered FAC (Friday after class) at the Key started at 2pm, $2 dollar pitchers. 5 guys, ~20 pitchers, power hour, categories, charade to start the day/night off. Proceeded to power hour at the gritty, dollar drinks = double fisting. Blacked out. According to friends, more drinking at two different bars.

Sat (Today): To drink or not to drink is the question…

Only in College…

From Eric:

So my friends and I decided to go to Vegas for my brother’s bachelor party. On the plane, we decided to get partying right away. There were 5 of us sitting in a row, with a cute girl occupying the 6th seat. We were telling her about my brother’s engagement and she was all game for partying with us on the strip that night. As we were buying rounds, I bought her a few. Apparently the altitude got to me faster then what is normal because I passed out half way through the flight and threw up on myself and her. She didn’t party with us that night saying she only parties with experienced men.

Only in College…

From BAGEK:

You know when you are faded, its the end of the night and you lay in your bed thinking (damn I’d hook up with anyone right now). Well one night I was in bed when suddenly this fat whale hops in my bed and grabs my cock. I’m faded so I go with it. She starts jerking me off then goes in for a kiss. As I’m kissing her I notice the taste of sumthing spicy, like nachos. I’m thinking, why does this chick taste like nachos? So I stop kissing her and ask: “Have you been eating nachos? She says: “No, why?” Its at that point I realize it wasn’t nachos I was tasting, it was puke.

Only in College…

From BAGEK:

It all started with a bottle of frost vodka I downed waaay too fast……my dog died the day before so I wasn’t in a good mood. First I called this guys’ gf a slut to his face, he punches me in the face, and I dont even budge (thanks to the vodka) he looks at me in shock why I dont do anything so I run into my house to grab my BB and point it at him to shoot him as he takes off and I miss completly (thanks to the vodka).

I walk into my house to the smell of exhaust. My “friend” had just rode my dirtbike in my parents living room, crashing into a wall and out the front door. I was so pissed I took a baseball bat and smashed his car up. I wrecked the entire front of his truck, from the mirrors to the grill and the hood. People tried to stop me but I over powered them all. (thanks to the vodka)

Only in College…

From BAGEK:

Ok so everyone has that guy who gets way too faded and always has to one up everyone else. During Casar Chavez day in Chico me and some buddies went to this rager at Rio chico. This guy, let’s call him C-Unit, had been drinking and bumpin’ lines since 8am that day and now he was on one and we headed to this party.

For some reason C-Unit found himself at the top of a flight of about 10 stairs preparing for a head first jump down. With his silly bowler cap on his head, a cast on his arm and about 3 peoples worth of blow and liquor running through his veins, he leaned forward and took off head first down the stairs landing on his neck. He lays there for a moment while we all look on in shock. Oh yeah 5 minutes after this stair dive, he got paid $5 to pepper spray himself in the face, which he did, then boned some asian chick, what a day/night.

Here’s the video:

Only in College…

From Andrew the Champ:

During freshman year of college my roommate was one half man whore the other half cool guy. Well he was fulfilling his half as the man whore and I needed to get sleep before my mid term the next morning. The two of them went from the bed to the shower. That’s when inspiration struck. My buddy down the hall had some itching powder. I gave him a quick ring and picked up the goods. I gave his bed sheets a healthy shake or two.. or five, and then waited for the magic to happen. Twenty minutes later they returned. I have never laughed harder under my covers, hearing the two of them go from sensational moans to horrific squeals. I gave myself a high 5 and slept like a champ.

Only in College…

From Andy:

Over spring break my extended family and I took a cruise around Mexico. I decided to hit on this hot girl by the pool. We were totally hitting it off and having a great time until I told her my large crazy fucked up family was all on board. Then she told me hers was too. This smoking hot chick was my second cousin.

Only in College…

From Franz:

We were getting dinner freshman year on campus. After grabbing our burgers etc, we decided to sit outside and enjoy the warm weather while we ate. About 20 yards from our table is a dormitory that is about 13 stories tall. We had a direct view of this dormitory as we ate.

In the middle of chewing my french fries, low and behold, I spot a naked chick three stories up. I immediately point it out to all my buddies.

This chick was completely naked, checking herself out in front of her life size mirror. Little did she realize that even though she was on the 3rd floor, people at the outdoor dining area had a great view. Blinds are on windows for a reason; and she was not taking advantage of them. So for the next 15 minutes, we enjoyed our fabulous lunch with front row seats to a naked chick modeling herself.

When we finished eating, we yelled loud enough to get her attention, smiled and waved at her, and then gave her two thumbs up each.

Only in College…