From Anonymous:

I woke up at around 11AM the day of a huge annual city parade to my friend calling me to get outside of my dorm and into her car. We head downtown and proceed to get obnoxiously drunk at someone’s house near the parade before noon. After several hours of wandering the streets drunk, crashing random house parties, and running into just about everyone I know, we decide to head back to my dorm.

I go to the caf which is just filled with people covered in beads from the parade and I’d say about 75% of them did not attend my school and had just wandered in as drunk as I was. My roommate and I made friends with this table of guys and promised to text them later. I go back to my room and pass out only to wake up at about 8 pm with a note stuck to my face from my roommate that says “went out with those guys, love you!”, so I decide (still drunk) to cut my losses and go to a bar with a friend.

At the bar, I continue to get (if possible) even drunker and my friend and I meet a couple members of a pretty popular band (which I will leave nameless). They invite us back to their house to party, so we go and that’s when I really stop remembering things. Next thing I know it’s 8 am and I wake up, soaking wet, on a couch in a house full of guys, grab my friend, and leave.

I get back to school and make the worst walk of shame to my dorm, ever, and find my roommate in bed with one of the guys we had met in the caf. As I climbed into bed she woke up and we looked at each other for about 5 seconds, smiled, and both passed out for the next 10 hours.

Only in College…

From Lulu:

I was at the library studying, it was about 3:30AM or so. I decided to go to the vending machine to get a snack. There weren’t many choices left, gum and popcorn. Go figure, all the goodies are gone. I decided to go with popcorn, I pop it into the microwave and push the popcorn button. I went to sit down on the couch and waited. I guess I fell asleep, because the next thing I know was the sprinklers in the room going off. Finds out, the automatic popcorn button doesn’t work (there was a HUGE sign right above the microwave on the board about it but I guess I was too tired to notice it). The fire department ended up coming.

Only in College…

From DW:

Let me start off by clarifying I use a Mac. For those who don’t know, Macs have “spaces,” where you open up different screens for more workspace. Anyways, I had my computer hooked up to the class projector for my finals presentation. I used a clicker, so I was standing all the way on the other side of the classroom. I didn’t know my AIM was still opened on another space. During the middle of my presentation, my girlfriend sent me an aim message, and the messsage box popped up right in the middle of the screen, I’ll copy and paste what my class was able to read:

“how did the presentation go?
i stopped by victoria secret’s earlier, i can’t wait for tonight, i have a special treat for you tonight”

I ran to my computer, minimized AIM, but not before my whole class knew that my girlfriend went lingerie shopping.

Only in College…

From Prankster:

My friend and I were at the computer lab last night, working on our papers. While she went to the vending machines, I decided to give her a scare. I saved her paper onto my flash drive, deleted the file on hers, and restarted her comp. Our school computers had an auto refresh/log out thing if your computer has nothing opened and it hasn’t been touched for ten minutes. When she got back, I pretended to be unaware of the whole situation. After a few minutes of her panicking and cursing every swear word in the English/urban dictionary, I told her what happened. I got a good laugh out of it.

Only in College…

From Anthony:

I was looking for my string cheese this morning and failed to find them. I looked in the trash, sure enough, my whole package of string cheese wrappers were in there. Then, I realized there was a note on the fridge, “Sorry, I drunkenly ate someone’s string cheese.”

I am going to invest in a mini fridge for my room next year.

Only in College…

From Jordan:

I was quite nervous because in ten minutes it was my turn to present. You know how most of us get a few minutes before a public speech or presentation; fast heart beat, fast breathings, sweaty, and nervous. That’s how I was feeling at that time. I grabbed a rubber band from my backpack and started stretching it out and rolling it around my two index fingers, in a circular motion. I was trying to take my mind off of the fact that I was about present. The closer I was to presenting, the more feverishly I stretched the rubber band. The presenter was just about done, so it was my turn. I was so nervous at this point that I stretched the rubber band too much and it snapped and hit me right in the eye. I shrieked like a little bitch and the whole class looked at me. I was in pain, I could feel my eye swelling up. I tried playing it off but it was already swelling. I got up to the front of the class and started with my presentation. I tried to ignore the fact that with each second passing I looked more and more like the elephant man. Well, things got worse. It was a history class and instead of saying King Henry the 4th, I misread the roman numeral and pronounced it “King Henry I-V.” Fuck my life.

Only in College…

From Lucas:

To celebrate our newly acquired Alumni status, a few friends and I went out last night. We pre-gamed at home while watching the Lakers/Rockets game. Someone suggested we should take a shot/chug a beer for every shot Kobe made. Well, Kobe took a lot of shots, made a lot of shots, so we took a lot of shots on top of the mixed drinks we were having. I remember going to the bars, but do not remember anything at the bars, or how I woke up in my female roommate’s bed. Finds out, I got home, proceeded to her room, woke her up, asked her for a sexual favor, got denied, whipped out my peter, started pissing on her bed, she slapped me, left the room, and I fell asleep in my own piss. She has a subletter for the summer and she’s providing the furniture.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

The other night at the bars, I was pissing and was on the phone with my booty call at the same time. I had the phone between my ears and shoulder, I lost control of my phone and it slipped right into the urinal while I was still pissing. So yea, I was pissing on my own phone. My drunk decision: I picked the phone up, continued the conversation. Nothing was going to stop me.

Only in College…

From Lewis:

I was in one of those big lecture classes. You know, 200+ people, one big auditorium. Well, there was a beautiful girl in my row who I had been systematically trying to win over. The professor asked if any students would like to go first on a project presentation. Thinking I could impress her by being bold and going first, I raised my hand. He called on me. I got up made my way towards the stairs to walk down to the stage. Well, my friend was at the end seat and he stuck his foot out and fucking tripped me! I fell face first on the steps and rolled down about three of them. I was literally in shock about what had just unfolded, but I still had to present. The entire class was chuckling under their breathes as I made my way down to the stage. I couldn’t shake off what had just happened and consequently I couldn’t remember a fucking thing about my presentation. I was like a deer frozen in some god damn headlights. I was worthless. It was the worst ten minutes of my life. More awkward moments than I ever want to have for the rest of eternity.

Only in College…

From Jacob:

We started a food fight in the cafeteria. It started out a small incident at our table. One half eaten apple hit me square in the nose. I picked up my slice of pizza and flung it on his face. I thought it would end there but two seconds later I see a bowl of mashed potatoes hit my friend in the chest. He took a cup of lemonade and threw it at their table. That is when shit hit the fan and multiple tables got into it. For a few minutes it was absolute madness. Food and drinks flying everywhere. We felt like little kids but it was a time I’ll never forget. I don’t know about the others, but I booked it before the campus security took control of the situation.

Only in College…

From Kayla:

One night, my team got back really late from an away game…so we all decided it would be a good idea to have case races when we got back, just our team and some friends. It was 6 people to a team, except my team, which only had 5 so I had to chug a few extra beers. By the time it was over, I was completely wasted and covered in beer from head to toe because they pick on the freshman! Anyways, I go back to the seniors apartment to sleep with my friend Kelly in her bed. I fell asleep in there while we were talking around 6am; however, I woke up a few hours later to a mans voice saying, “Who’s behind me?!”

I heard this strange mans’ voice, I pushed myself up, extremely confused, only to find that I stumbled into my other seniors’ room across the hall where she and her boyfriend had been sleeping (half naked) and who didn’t even know I was in their apartment! It was the first time I formally introduced myself to her boyfriend and was easily one of the funniest/most awkward moments of my life.

Only in College…

From David:

My friends and I were studying at the library. I went to the bathroom, come back, my desktop is a gay firefighter in the background. My friends couldn’t stop laughing. Very funny, I said. It wasn’t over though, for the next hour or so, they continued to look at each other, nodding and shaking. I knew something was up, I asked them what else did they do. One of them said, you should check your Facebook. I went to my Facebook page and discovered about a dozen of my friends commented on my new info which included a new profile picture, the gay groups I joined, I’m interested in guys now, and one of my favorite activities is wearing short shorts while working out. I put a screensaver password now on my computer.

Only in College…