From Happy Guy:

I’ll do this brothermarcus style with the numbers. On a fall evening in a college campus in the Boston area:

1) Getting back from a full day of chemistry lab, I sit in the lounge to read an interesting book on the nature of time.

2) I am distracted by my friends yelling at me from outside, and I go to join them in smoking out of a hookah. My friend who set up the hookah is a nargillah master, and we have a scenic view, and there are a bunch of hot Turkish and French girls smoking hookah who we proceed to hit on.

3) My friend decided to get a shitload of alcohol and set up a private party in his room. We all proceed to get drunk.

4) Its about 12:00 and I’m really drunk and go outside for a smoke. A random, really really hot chick comes up to me and starts making out with me. The guy she is with comes up, and it turns out he is not her boyfriend but her friend. In any case, she turns around and begins puking, and I lose interest. But the group seems cool, and there are some other hot girls, so I invite them to the party.

5) At about 1:00, me and a couple of kids I just met go out to an abandoned dorm room to smoke. Coming out, we meet some chick who apparently has the hots for one of the guys with us, so she invites us back to her room, along with her hot Asian friend and several others, to listen to Israeli psy-trance and have her belly-dance for us, which she is apparently really good at.

6) We end up playing a game of strip-Jenga, where whenever someone knocks over the tower, their team have to remove an article of clothing. Within a couple of hours we are all naked and begining to play a giant game of naked spin the bottle.

7) The party just turns into a giant fuckfest, and we end up going to sleep at like 5 am. The hot Asian girl I was with has to get up to go on some trip or something at 6 am, so we wake up at 5:50, have a quicky, and I leave to head back to my dorm. Turns out I cant really find my clothes, so I end up walking back to my dorm, with only my boxers on and my shoes in my hand, in the cold October morning. I get back to my dorm, where, despite the fact that it is already light out, my roomates are still taking shots and there are some girls in the room. We hit on them, set off some firecrackers for some strange reason, run back to the room, smoke some weed, and fall asleep.

Quite possibly the most fun I’ve ever had in one night.

Only in College…

From R:

Last halloween, my friend throws a big house party, I have no idea how many people came and went because I started drinking 2 hours before everyone. It was a McDonald’s themed party because the week before some of his friends stole a McDonald’s sign that was down off the pole for repair. Yea, the ones that sits like 50ft up in the air. They had that in the backyard all light up.

Anyways, the party gets going big and there are all sorts of costumes. Long story short, after many shots and a keg stand where they dropped me and hit my head on the concrete and laughed at it. I ended up trying to sleep in my car but dropped my keys under my car and couldnt get in so I decided to fall asleep next to my car.

I woke up to two fire trucks on the street. I found out that the McDonald’s sign in the backyard caught on fire because we wired it up wrong, basically we took an extension cord cut it and spliced it together. Oops, maybe we shouldn’t have done that drunk.

Oh and I was the cat in the hat.

Only in College (Alabama)…

From Cara:

My friends and I wanted to save a bunch of money by cramming 10 people into a ford Taurus. Cop drove by us, turned around, and pulled us over. $55 ticket for a seat belt violation each. So much for saving money.

Only in College…

From Scar For Life:

My freshman year, we were having an informal party at my house, and I noticed that one of my friends was in his room with a girl. I was half drunk and felt like being an ass, I went and pounded on his door. He came out to yell at me, and I ran down the hall towards the bathroom.

Earlier, someone had vomited in the doorway to the bathroom, so I leaped over it. I’m about 6 foot 2″, and when I leaped, I clipped my head on the doorjamb, and knocked myself out. In the process of falling, I also split my elbow open. So, now I’m laying on the floor, only partially concious, with a gaping wound on my head. People are around me trying to stop the bleeding at this time. Then, another guy came to the bathroom to vomit, but there were people in the way. He took one look at me and promptly puked all over me.

The EMS showed up, but they let me go to the hospital with one of the semisobers there. 7 staples and 8 stitches later, I had to call my folks and explain the whole thing to them. I still have a nice scar on my head from that incident. Oh, this all happened on Valentine’s day.

Only in College (Cal Poly)…

From My BDay:

Key Points:

1. drink 1 liter of 151 with my brother in my dorm room
2. go to bar, run into a guy i went to high school with
3. go to his frat, find out about a party
4. walk to said party
5. have a midget light my bong
6. have an asian hooker throw cheez-its at me, for an unsettling amount of time
7. witness a rat being immolated on a barbeque grill
8. realize i’m f****d and about 2 miles from my dorm at 3am in january (reaaaally cold)
9. convince a gas station clerk to my brother and I to warm up while walking home, she hits on my brother, we score free hot dogs.
10. somehow wake up in my dorm room 9 hours later

Only in College…

From Ashley:

So my friends and I decided to tailgate at the ballgame. After tailgating with music for 4 hours the car battery died. Deciding to figure it out after the game, we went in, got more drunk, then came out to find a guy with jumper cables.

Unfortunately the guy that that we found to help jump my car was drunk, and hit mine while trying to get close enough to jump it.

Try explaining that one to your parents…

Only in College…

From Lynn:

I was at a bar at 9:00 when I saw my roommate walk in. Drunkenly I decided to kick him in the stomach. In the process, I ripped my jeans from the pocket to the crotch. I wasn’t wearing any underwear to top it off. I spend the rest of the night having guys finger my butt. Karma’s a bitch!

Only in College…

From Party God:

My fraternity’s parties were usually in the “basement” of the frat house where the dance floor and beer cooler for the kegs were…except it wasn’t really a basement. It had been built with the house, it was a basement that the fraternity had dug out from underneath the house and cemented in a floor and a wall about 3 ft high along the edges of the dancefloor that people would also dance on. So basically the bottom of the house was the ceiling of the party room, with electrical and speaker wiring and plumbing pipes running wild in every direction imaginable.

Now running above the length of one of the dance walls was a large cast iron pipe about a foot in diameter, and when the party would get really rocking there would usually be several drunks swinging on the pipe junglegym-style out over the edge of the dancefloor.

One night as the party was kicking in high gear, some chicks were swinging on the pipe, and all of a sudden the pipe broke. Along with sending the people swinging on it flying, the end of this huge iron pipe came crashing down and smashed this chick on the dance floor on the head, knocking her out cold.

Hold on, it gets better. This pipe was the MAIN SEWAGE LINE of the house, and it immediately started spewing RAW SEWAGE onto the dance floor. Now because the dance floor was already soaked with spilled beer, mixed drinks, mud and probably some vomit, it took several seconds before the sewage smell registered with the drunks on the dancefloor…but once it did it was like rats fleeing a sinking garbage barge with all the people running off the dance floor from the sewage.

Now according to several frat bros who remained in the party room (I didn’t, as I had quickly fled the sewage tsunami), ALLEGEDLY one of the bros with a reputation for eating ANYTHING (I can personally attest to this…I saw him bite the head off a frog, chew up live caterpillars and a goldfish) picked up a plastic beer cup, scooped up some of the sewage and took a sip. I do know he had to go to the ER later that night to have his stomach pumped, but I doubt that it was because he sipped on raw sewage. I personally believe it was just from drinking so much.

Only in College (Texas)…

From Chica:

At a rugby party (University of Washignton, or UDUB!), they had about 8 kegs and about 100-150 people show up. I didn’t really know most of the people there so I went around and started introducing my self to random groups, especially the hot guys of course.

I had a joint in my purse, I decided to hold it but not lit it, and the first person to ask if that’s a joint I will smoke it with him or her. About twenty minutes go by and this guy is like “hey, is that a joint?” Finally! I replied, “yes you wanna burn?” He replied with “man this is like some where’s waldo shit, I’m glad I found someone with a joint.” He asks if he can grab a buddy and we go to burn.

This dude also lives in the house, so we go to his room to burn. While we’re smoking people kept coming to his door and are trying to get in, everyone got turned away. Later, someone just won’t stop banging on the door and they claimed they were the Seattle Fire department.

We did not realize the house was on fire and all of us are just chillin in his room. We open the door and left the house. Everyone else in the house were already evacuated and we were still smoking haha. It turns out someone up stairs had put a cig in a trash can and caught the upstairs on fire. Fire fighters put the blaze out, which destroyed a room and the party just continues. Will never forget that party.

Only in College (UDub)…

From Soccer Guy:

At this ‘girls soccer team’ party at MSU, I was tryin to get this girl to do a kegstand and she was like ‘no no I can’t’ which someone took as ‘hell yeah lets do it’. Two dudes grabed her legs and she forgot to hold the keg. She flopped down and smacked her face off the cement floor in the basement. got up lookin like she was about to cry. There was like a three second silence and then everyone just bursted out laughin.

Later, my friend pissed on some soccer chick while she was sleeping. That was funny too.

Only in College (MSU)…

From Anonymous:

I finished all of my exams this year before Cinco de Mayo. I decided I was going to go all out on my last night of school, and celebrate the holiday right…with tequila! I am usually a heavy drinker so I took way more than enough (somewhere around 20 non-normal sized shots). Needless to say I do not remember leaving my dorm that night and even going to the frat house where i made out with 2 boys…surprisingly enough, even after that, everyone thought that I was fine…up until I fell down a flight of stairs… when a police officer saw me fall he came over to ask if I was alright and noticed that I was very intoxicated…after refusing a breathalyzer test he insisted that I go to the hospital…he called the ambulance and I woke up with an IV in my arm and a heart monitor taped to my chest, wondering where I was and how i got there!! The nurses told me that I had a .35 alcohol level and that I could have died…but that I handled the alcohol very well and they were surprised by my BAC because I was a completely functional. Earlier, she tells me I decided that the emergency room floor was a toilet and I peed on it! At least I can handle myself when drunk!

Only in College…

From Reg:

I was at a formal dinner at UNSW, as usual by about 9:30, everyone was shitfaced and the dancefloor hookups were beginning to start. This really fat and to be frank, hideously ugly couple were having a bit of a jive but nothing more.

Anyway, at some point the two escaped and for some unknown reason decided to go to the dead middle of the oval and have wild sex in a variety of positions. Being pitch black and a huge oval they must have thought it was a relatively discreet place.

So how do I know they had sex? The publications director and amateur photographer/film maker had slyly followed them out the door and sat down in the clubroom stadium with his cam and telescopic zoom lens. He got the whole thing on camera! He went back in to the dinner (which was winding up) and announced that he’d gotten something ‘juicy’ on tape. At least half the college went back to the TV room and watched these two going for it.

Halfway through, the couple in question walked into the room and saw themselves on the big screen. They weren’t impressed.

The cinematographer got in deep, deep shit over that one!

Only in College (UNSW)…