From Anonymous:

Not exactly a crazy story but one event that stands out in my mind was when two chicks (best friends) invited me up to their apartment for some cheap drinks. They had a never ending supply of ghetto beer, and before long we were all totally trashed.

Then–to this day I have no idea what triggered it–I started getting depressed and whiny about my life, and these two drunk chicks were trying to talk me down. As soon as I calm down, I start making out with one of them (she reciprocated), and the other one sort of flipped out, saying “Oh my God, oh my God!” and running into her room–her expression was priceless. This other girl–keep in mind that I had just met her that night–and I were stumbling around in the apartment trying to get our clothes off, and we finally made it into a room. Unfortunately for us, we were both way too drunk to either get off or do anything serious, so we both sort of got tired and passed out.

The next morning was the second most mortified of my life.

Only in College…

From Buckeye:

Home game for the Buckeyes, the lame Wolverines were in town to play football about 2 years ago. I was at a party with about 30 people at ten in the morning on 12th street (OSU campus). Some out-of-towners with Michigan plates rolls up on the street, and parallel parks into a student parking spot along the street right in front of our party.

You’d have to be a shitbrick to park your car with MI plates in front of a porch full of drunk, obnoxious OSU fans. So they get out of the car, we exchange “Michigan sucks…no OSU sucks….Ann Arbor is a whore….Columbus still sucks..” comments back and forth and the old couple takes folding chairs from their trunk and head down High St.

To make a long story short, the couple came back after the game to find their newer Honda Accord upside down and on fire with 3 guys standing on top of it doing beer bongs.

Only in College (OSU)…

From Devil:

I’m leaving Duke this year, so I decided to have a good bye party for all my close girlfriends. I (yes, Franzia). I pulled out all the stops to get various drugs. Of course, half of my friends were weenies who only wanted to drink, but I got the other half on stimulants and weed along with the alcohol. Over the course of the night, we drank almost all of the beers and half the box of wine. I didn’t really have a clear plan of what we were going to do, but i’d bought some crayola markers on a whim, and we ended up drawing all over each other. It started out nice and conservative with little messages: ‘I’m going to miss you’ and stuff, but by the end of the night, we were just scrawling obscenities all over each other. I had ‘cunt’ on my inner thigh and ‘fuck buddy’ on my shoulder among many other things.

I also made the rule that you couldn’t come unless you wore ‘weird shit’ and my friends deifnitely took this to heart. I was wearing this really short vintage Mexican style dress that was green with a huge red ruffle. My friend was wearing a swimsuit from the 1950s that had little shorts on it and blue and white polka dots. Two other girls were wearing shirts and sesame street underwear. We were in my dorm, so when we went out to have cigarettes and stuff, we ran into all the sober people, and we were wearing costumes and had writing all over us, which was one of the best parts in my opinion. Over the course of the night, we also managed to have several hikes outside to pee in weird places (sort of a weird tradition with my friends.)

It wasn’t a particualrly big or well-stocked in terms of drugs/alcohol or in-a-bar party, but everyone swore it was the best time we’d had all year. it was good that we all enjoyed it so much b/c crayola marker does not come off very easily, especially multiple layers of it! i ended up just leaving it on for awhile. Plus, the substances in conjunction with the marker did give al my friends at Duke a chance to say goodbye to me and stuff. They made me a huge number of signs with the markers, too, which I bounded into a book. Suffice to say, one was a poem: ‘roses are red, violets are blue, we’ll miss em, and need a new drug connoisseur too!’

Only in College (Duke)…

From Horned Frog:

Inside our frat house, we had a large main room. We decided to put a slip and slide during one of our parties. Girls were getting naked on said “slip and slide.” I decided to execute my impersonation of Rickey Henderson sliding on it, well, I slipped and my head bounced off the ground like a basketball. I don’t remember much after that.

I was damn pissed the next day when people told me the party ended after my tragedy. Goddamn pussies, throw me in a closet or something. I single-handedly ended a party by falling on my head on concrete and blacking out.

Only in College (TCU)…

From Wildcat:

I went to a party and was sort of high on Adderall and was drinking like crazy. I proceeded to get into a conversation with some chick and she tells me right off the bat that she is obsessed with serial killers and I talk to her about them for almost 45 minutes. I hear “Oh shit!” come from the living room and run into find that some guy fell off the balcony (12+ feet in the air) and landed on his face! He was a big fat guy and he wasn’t breathing, so I and several others start screaming “call a fucking ambulance!” but some kid who claimed to be an EMT says that he’ll take care of it.

Well EMT boy starts moving the guy’s head! Of course, this is a really bad idea but eventually the guy comes to and begs not to be taken to the hospital because he has no insurance/money. Next crazy thing that happens is that some guy is sitting on a cabinet and the top rips off and he goes flying against the wall. When he is on the ground people start throwing beer at him and he snaps and picks up the cabinet top (like 4 feet long, 30+ pounds, nails sticking out) and whips it at the crowd and proceeds to demolish the cabinet in 5 seconds by kicking the shit out of it. He gets kicked out but everyone decides to burn set the pieces of the cabinet on fire. While the cabinet is on fire someone (no one knows who) covered this fat, passed out girl in used coffee grinds. It was funny but sad. Eventually I had to run from the cops because of the bonfire (at 5AM), but overall it was great.

Only in College (KSU)…

From I don’t remember a damn thing:

The night started off rather innocently, my roommate and I each purchased a 1/5 of Everclear (195 proof grain alcohol) and a Quart of Fierce Grape Gatorade. Well, maybe thats not so innocent. Regardless, two hours later, my bottle of Everclear is quite gone. Enter the land of blackout. The last thing I remember was ripping the screen out of the window in our room (we had a sublevel room where our window looked out at the grass, so you could crawl out easily).

Apparently I was spotted all over campus in nothing but my boxer shorts and one sock. Mind you, I live in Connecticut and this was in early February, so there was snow on the ground and it was bitter ass cold, but apparently I wasn’t feeling it at all. I was seen walking through the library, campus’s main courtyard, and attempted to get into the dining hall, but it was locked. I apparently was in a cheery mood and was nothing but smiles and laughs to everyone that talked to me. I guess at one point I passed out on a bench outside the library and someone helped me to the general area of my dorm.

I woke up the next day in bed, soaked to the bone, covered in mud, and my feet looked like raw hamburger. I had minor frostbite on my toes, but that was the only extent of my injuries.

My roommate puked in his trashcan and passed out in our room. Who had the better night?!

*Raises Hand*

If only I could remember…

Only in College (UConn)…

From Kev:

When I drink too much = I black out. This was one of those epic times. It all started with a bottle of Patron that my friend and I shared last night. Soon someone else brought a handle of Jose and the rest of the pledges showed up. I’m pretty sure we drank everything and then some. Last thing I remember is one of the pledges throwing up and then he passes out. To punish him, my buddies and I duck taped him to the wall. I wish I took a picture, but you probably have a pretty good visual one. The next morning, I could hear him yelling to get him down.

Only in College (Chico State)…

From Gator:

Few days ago, we decided to drink ourselves to death at our house. It was the last day of finals. Everyone got a case, we agreed to finish the case within 6 hours. Well, one of my friends got way too wasted and his parents came to surprise visit him. They left right away because he was passed out right in from of them. A few hours later, he was trying to go to the bathroom to take a leak but fell down our flight of stairs instead. When we found him, his head was pressed against the wall, his legs were up in the air. He casually turned around, whipped “it” out and proceeded to pissed, as well as all over himself…including his face. I wish I had a video to show you guys, he’ll never live it down.

Only in College (Florida)…

From Anonymous:

This happened a few days ago, the day before my graduation. I went out partying with my friends before the day of my graduation. The commencement was at 10am. My parents and relatives were meeting me at my house at 9am. I told myself I’ll just go out for a few drinks since I want to be able to function the next day. Well, obviously that wasn’t the case. I ended up consuming an immense amount of alcohol and ended up hooking up with a friend.

I did not wake up until I heard someone knocking on my door. I looked at my alarm, it was 8:45. I opened the door, it was my parents! Before I could say anything, they walked into my room and literally screamed when they saw the girl in my bed. My friend was partially naked and my parents just told me to get myself together, and call them when I was ready and left.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

The other night, I had a few friends over to pregame before we headed out. I had a Wii, so one of my friends wanted to try Wii Sports. We started playing. We were playing tennis, and then my friend said, “check this out,” and swings her arm and hits the handles (Ketel One and Patron) on the bar table. They immediately shattered on the wooden floor. We “cleaned” up the mess and the pieces of glass.

The next day, I saw my roommate walking funny, I asked him what’s wrong. He replied, “I stepped in pieces of glass, who the f*** broke glass.” I pretended to have absolutely no idea…

Only in College…

From Z:

One of my roommates is a bartender at a restaurant. So you probably know where this story is headed. He would charge us for a soda, and give us a rum and coke. Well the other night, he came home and told us his boss finally caught on and he got fired. Not only did he get fired, he said his boss is banning him and us from the restaurant. Good thing we only went there to pregame because of the cheap drinks and food.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

Last night, I decided to stay sober and just smoke instead. I haven’t smoked in awhile, so after a couple of rips, I was feeling the effects of it. If any of you have smoked before, you probably know about the munchies. My friend and I decided to drive to Mickey D’s to satisfy our urges. I drove with extra caution since it was friday night. My friend had passed out within a matter of minutes in my car. I approached a red light, stopped and waited. After five or so minutes, it was still red. I was starting to get a little irritated, but I did not want to run it since I was afraid of cops hiding somewhere. I waited another 2-3 minutes. A car came from behind me, after a few seconds, he honk’d at me, and my friend jumped up. I gave the guy behind me the finger since it was still a red light. Then I heard him yell, “it’s a stop sign, you retard.” Ohhhhhhh.

Only in College…