From Anonymous:

It wasn’t even a month into the start of the school year. It was my first year at a university, and this year will also be my first (again) due to way too much drinking. My school likes to think we like our football games, but in reality we watch about a quarter of the game before heading off to drink. So this day was not unlike all the other game days.

My buddy and I were pre-gaming the game at the ever-so-popular tailgate party. I think we lasted up until half way through the 2nd (which is probably the longest game we have watched) until we decided to go find a party.

We left and first house we got to was having a party, with tons of hot girls sitting around out front and beer pong in the driveway. We paid for the cup and walked to the backyard to be reminded it was mothers weekend also. There was a circle of moms around the keg, and after I was able to down ONE beer, they had already killed the keg. If this wasnt enough to stun me and my friend, the house owner had the balls to ask us for more money if we wanted another keg. After some choice words, we (and later everyone else) left.

We met up with an extremely hot friend of ours and went up the street to a party with her. We spent the afternoon there doing shots, pong, keg stands, and alot more ridiculous stuff. After learning a new game of chugging a full wiffle ball bat full of beer, spinning, and hitting some empty cans into a neighbors pickup truck bed (homerun), I learned of my friends plan to fake RA’s, and bust the freshman.

Being totally trashed my mind was screaming at me that this was a bad idea yet strangely enough my feet liked the idea and were already walking towards the freshman dorm. So I figured if the mind cant control the feet, fuck it. We started at the 18th floor working our way to the 4th (last with rooms). Busting any party we heard. We only had one RA badge so you have to picture 2 completely smashed kids trying to pose as figures of authority. Yet somehow after scaring the shit out of freshman you would be surprised how much alcohol they offer you. So after nearly doubling our alcohol content we decided to leave, and with good timing. Walking the stairwell down we had to explain to a REAL RA and COP that we were just heading out from our friends room (luckily we did know someone there). We learned that they were actually looking for us, guess not all the freshman were laughing about the ordeal.

So we started the long walk to his apartment, and ended up walking stright through another random party. This unattractive girl walking around with two bottles of alcohol offered us a drink. I grabbed the bottle and took a pull from it, then passed it to my bud. I was talking with the girl for a brief second when I looked up and somehow read my friends mind. He was stealing the bottle, and I knew I was stuck being the distraction. I grabbed the girl and made out with her until I saw him turn the corner (It’s not hard to convince yourself to kiss someone when ur this drunk). After a quick “gotta go,” I caught up with him and his new half empty bottle.

By now the sky let loose and the rain started. We were still on our walk to his place while taking pulls from the bottle. Out in the distance there was a door on some stands in the middle of campus. Some makeshift table but we saw bee pong table opportunity so it basically became my new umbrella until we made it to his place.

It’s really confusing when you wake up with a major hangover, a door laying on top of you, a RA badge on your shirt, an empty bottle of some fruity vodka, and a phone message from your own RA (also a friend) saying he had to go to a meeting in the morning about uping security due to fake RA’s going around, and somehow he knew I was involved.

We capped it off with Mcdonalds and Busch light.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

I was gearing up for graduation in two nights by packing up my dorm room when I got a call from an friend of mine. He had moved into his first apartment in Brooklyn (just across the water) and was throwing a BBQ. Now, NYU is not known as a party school like most other schools. There’s no campus really and the students tend to be pretty active in other things so they don’t resort to frats/sororities for fun. So, despite the occassional big party or night out at the clubs, we missed out on the usual drunken orgies I’d hear about from other schools.

This BBQ, however, was different. When I got there, they were serving this crazy drink called “Everglo” (some green liquor that’s a mix of vodka, tequila, and caffeine) and mixing it with Red Bull. I asked what it was, and they said “It’s EverGlo, Yo!” It went down easily since it was the middle of a May heatwave. After partying for a while, the ice started getting low as the party got more crowded. People started sitting in the kiddie pool that was being used as a giant beer cooler. The music was thumping and people were dancing crazy grinding dances.

I was getting tired, so I went out for air and ice, hoping the walk would sober me up. When I returned, a crowd of girls answered the door. They were all in their underwear and soaking wet. One girl took the ice bags from me and said “Thanks!” and just jumped my bones and gave me a big wet kiss on the mouth. I went back to the back-yard area and everyone was down to their underwear yelling “naked party!” over and over again. I was getting groped by several girls as I tried to make my way back to the kiddie pool to drop off the rest of the ice. When I got there, my friend (the party host) was in the pool with a naked girl making out like crazy. I’ve never seen anything like it. Whatever the heck is in that Everglo seems to get people to go crazy!

Only in College (NYU)…

From Anonymous:

My buddies and I were celebrating the end of the school year at his house with some cheap wine. “George” was all proud of himself because he bought the champagne with 12.5% instead of 12% alcohol for the same price. Anyways, we’re hanging out and these stupid chicks, they wouldn’t drink the champagne so I had to drink it for them. I got into a fight with my friend “Erik” when he came in the door, I randomly karate kicked and broke a lava lamp, and showed the other normal signs of someone obliviously drunk.

All of a sudden I get a phone call from this hot chick I had wanted to bone for the last three weeks so I am adamant on driving over there. My friends mention that there is a police checkpoint down the road so I’d better not risk it, but I don’t really give a fuck so I head out the door. On the way out I finished off the last bits of a bottle of champagne. My friends locked the door behind me as they shouted out claims to my stereo and other personal belongings in case I was in a fatal accident.

Long story short, I am driving along drunk as fuck and I hit a curb going like 40mph and got a flat tire. I kept driving pissed off and worried contemplating driving on the freeway anyway. People were yelling on the side of the road that I had a flat tire and sparks were coming off my rims or whatever. Eventually, I decided to turn off the road and park. I started to cry a little bit like a bitch I know and I called up the chick to tell her what happened. She came to my rescue and we fucked the rest of the night. The next day I found out I had stopped one block before the police checkpoint. I didn’t get a DUI and I got laid. God loves drunk drivers.

Only in College…

From Buckeye:

Home game for the Buckeyes, the lame Wolverines were in town to play football about 2 years ago. I was at a party with about 30 people at ten in the morning on 12th street (OSU campus). Some out-of-towners with Michigan plates rolls up on the street, and parallel parks into a student parking spot along the street right in front of our party.

You’d have to be a shitbrick to park your car with MI plates in front of a porch full of drunk, obnoxious OSU fans. So they get out of the car, we exchange “Michigan sucks…no OSU sucks….Ann Arbor is a whore….Columbus still sucks..” comments back and forth and the old couple takes folding chairs from their trunk and head down High St.

To make a long story short, the couple came back after the game to find their newer Honda Accord upside down and on fire with 3 guys standing on top of it doing beer bongs.

Only in College (OSU)…

From Elizabeth:

We were having a kegger and the word had gotten out. We were quickly running out of beer and the beer wasn’t going to last long. My roommates and I wanted to make sure that we had enough beer for the after party….

So we concocted a plan to “steal” our own tapper. I had my boyfriend grab the tapper under the pretense that he was changing the keg. But instead of changing the keg, he went to my room to hide the tapper.

After a few minutes the drunk people at the party realized that the keg wasn’t getting changed, and started coming up to me and my roommates asking us about it. We pretended to not know anything and act upset because “some guy” stole our tapper.

Apparently, some people at the party noticed a “guy in a green stripe shirt” take it and started to scour the party for this person. I texted my boyfriend and told him to ditch his green stripe dress shirt before he came back to the party. He did and once he joined the party again he participated in the hunt for the guy in the green stripe shirt.

Only in College…

From S.L.I.B.:

After attending numerous house parties during my freshman year, I couldn’t wait to host my own parties once I had my own place. My sophomore year we got our own apartment in an area on campus known for all the sophomore parties. We started out having gatherings with just our friends, but then realized how much money we could start making on weekends by having parties and charging for cups. It soon became a business for us. We had one roommate on cup control, one roommate on crowd control, one roommate on door patrol, one roommate on sober patrol. We even had our boyfriends on cop look out duty.

We were running a business, and were pretty good about keeping under the radar. It was fun but it was a decent amount of work and our fun really started after everyone left.

One night after a successful party of about 50-75 people, some of us had thrown a pizza in and were having a dance party while others were already headed to bed. During the party, someone had opened one of our windows, but we hadn’t noticed because the shades were drawn. So our music could clearly be heard….by the cops that were passing by our apartment building. Apparently some drunk girl (from the party next door) had stumbled out to the front yard and was puking and someone called her into the cops.

The cops suspect she came from the apartment that was blaring the loud music. They get into our building and start pounding on our door. Like the drunk idiots we are, we shut off the music and don’t answer the door. We finally let them in after threats from the police officers that they’ll guarantee that they’ll get us in as much trouble as they can if we don’t let them in.

Keep in mind our apartment is a townhouse style apartment. There are three levels and we usually just party on the three levels. The 5 police officers come in expecting a HUGE party but only find about 5 people downstairs. Of course, there are empty solo cups and 2 empty kegs in the living room.

So they pound up the stairs expecting to find 40 people hiding in the bedrooms. When they would find sleeping people they would yell “are you naked?… alright get downstairs!!”. All together there were about 8 people actually still in the apartment, 4 of which were 21.

They lined us all up on the couch and started taking our information and then….. **ding**…… the pizza was done. One of the girls pops up and apologizes to the cops explaining that we had put in a pizza before they got here. She disappears into the kitchen. But instead of taking out the pizza and coming right back into the living room, we hear drawers opening and closing and the familiar sound of pizza crust crumbling. She reappears in the living room and says: “I’m really sorry, i’m just super hungry…. want a piece?” and the cop responded “No…I prefer doughnuts from the corner shop.”

We got off with a warning…and we never held a party for profit again.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

Sometime in the first semester, I ran into a girl from one of my classes at a party. We chatted, and after a few drinks, we started getting really touchy/feely. At some point, we both went to the bathroom, where we ended up in a hot and heavy hook up session. Seeing as it was the only bathroom at the party, people started banging on the door telling us to hurry up. It was at this point that the girl I was with said she felt sick and started vomiting. At the same time, someone had gotten the owner of the house who proceeded to kick in the bathroom door. About 2 dozen people saw me with my pants down, with a full on boner, watching my topless hook up puke her brains out. Let’s just say I had A LOT of explaining to do.

Only in College…

From Lucas:

To celebrate our newly acquired Alumni status, a few friends and I went out last night. We pre-gamed at home while watching the Lakers/Rockets game. Someone suggested we should take a shot/chug a beer for every shot Kobe made. Well, Kobe took a lot of shots, made a lot of shots, so we took a lot of shots on top of the mixed drinks we were having. I remember going to the bars, but do not remember anything at the bars, or how I woke up in my female roommate’s bed. Finds out, I got home, proceeded to her room, woke her up, asked her for a sexual favor, got denied, whipped out my peter, started pissing on her bed, she slapped me, left the room, and I fell asleep in my own piss. She has a subletter for the summer and she’s providing the furniture.

Only in College…

From Lewis:

I was in one of those big lecture classes. You know, 200+ people, one big auditorium. Well, there was a beautiful girl in my row who I had been systematically trying to win over. The professor asked if any students would like to go first on a project presentation. Thinking I could impress her by being bold and going first, I raised my hand. He called on me. I got up made my way towards the stairs to walk down to the stage. Well, my friend was at the end seat and he stuck his foot out and fucking tripped me! I fell face first on the steps and rolled down about three of them. I was literally in shock about what had just unfolded, but I still had to present. The entire class was chuckling under their breathes as I made my way down to the stage. I couldn’t shake off what had just happened and consequently I couldn’t remember a fucking thing about my presentation. I was like a deer frozen in some god damn headlights. I was worthless. It was the worst ten minutes of my life. More awkward moments than I ever want to have for the rest of eternity.

Only in College…

“Vegas Baby” from Versak:

At the Mirage. Drinking Jack Daniels with college friends in hotel room. More college friends show up. More Jack Daniels drinking. Friend offers a ride to the Palms. Friend is drinking Jack Daniels? Friend is not drinking Jack Daniels. We drink more Jack Daniels. Friend drives drunk friends to the Palms. Two of us get into the Playboy club. Other friends and driver leave and are not seen again. Make it to the roof of the Playboy club. Drinking more Jack Daniels. Dancing with models who drink my Jack Daniels. Give my hotel key to the models. Lose my friend. Panic. Rush out of Playboy club. Stumble out of the Palms. Get a taxi to the Mirage. Taxi does not accept plastic. Show taxi driver empty wallet. Get pulled out of taxi by taxi driver. Get dragged by ear and neck through the Mirage by taxi driver. Get forced to remove $80 from the ATM for taxi driver. Remove $40 from the ATM for taxi driver. Tell taxi driver to go fuck himself. Enter the Beatles club alone. Drink more Jack Daniels. Buy Jack Daniels shots for girls I don’t know. Girls I don’t know turn out to be hookers. Hookers want to know me. I don’t want to know the hookers. Head to hotel room. Realize I do not have a key. Elevator bouncers pick a fight. Blackout.
The end.

Only in College…. and Vegas

Congratulation to Versak!

From @stephiscrazy:

Flip cup is what guys play when the girls threaten to leave because they can’t get on the beer pong table.

Only in College…

From Jason:

My buddy and I were walking back from an exhausting lab. We had a few hours to kill and found ourselves at the bar. We had both gotten paid a few days earlier so we decided to go all out. We killed 8 pitchers over the course of two hours. We had another course together in the afternoon. Rather than skipping it, we decided to go drunk. We don’t remember much, but some friends of ours gave us a great recap of the events that transpired.

“You guys got kicked out of the class twenty minutes into it.”

“Why”

“Dude the two of you would NOT stop screaming the lyrics to the ‘I’m on a Boat!’ song”

Only in College…