From Anthony:

We all have that one “guy” in our class. You know, the one who always arrives drunk. Physically there but not mentally. The type of people who show up to class still wearing the clothes that they partied in the night before. Beer stains on his shirt, possible vomit on shoes. Eyes blood shot red, not from the marijuana but the excess alcohol and lack of sleep. In his head he believes he is the master of the spoken english language. However, what comes out of his mouth is something only a foreign monster from Star Wars could relate to. They attempt to finish their work that’s due at the beginning class, at the beginning of class. Ten minutes into it they start to drift off into the oblivion. First comes the heavy head and the droopy eyes. Slowly but surely gravity takes over and they start drifting downwards. Instincts take over. The hand supports the head. Two minutes later the hand slips away, free from its masters tyranny, and the head slams into the desk. I write this from my laptop, in class. Everything written has been a direct result of what this kid to my right is doing. I say this with great pride,

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

It wasn’t even a month into the start of the school year. It was my first year at a university, and this year will also be my first (again) due to way too much drinking. My school likes to think we like our football games, but in reality we watch about a quarter of the game before heading off to drink. So this day was not unlike all the other game days.

My buddy and I were pre-gaming the game at the ever-so-popular tailgate party. I think we lasted up until half way through the 2nd (which is probably the longest game we have watched) until we decided to go find a party.

We left and first house we got to was having a party, with tons of hot girls sitting around out front and beer pong in the driveway. We paid for the cup and walked to the backyard to be reminded it was mothers weekend also. There was a circle of moms around the keg, and after I was able to down ONE beer, they had already killed the keg. If this wasnt enough to stun me and my friend, the house owner had the balls to ask us for more money if we wanted another keg. After some choice words, we (and later everyone else) left.

We met up with an extremely hot friend of ours and went up the street to a party with her. We spent the afternoon there doing shots, pong, keg stands, and alot more ridiculous stuff. After learning a new game of chugging a full wiffle ball bat full of beer, spinning, and hitting some empty cans into a neighbors pickup truck bed (homerun), I learned of my friends plan to fake RA’s, and bust the freshman.

Being totally trashed my mind was screaming at me that this was a bad idea yet strangely enough my feet liked the idea and were already walking towards the freshman dorm. So I figured if the mind cant control the feet, fuck it. We started at the 18th floor working our way to the 4th (last with rooms). Busting any party we heard. We only had one RA badge so you have to picture 2 completely smashed kids trying to pose as figures of authority. Yet somehow after scaring the shit out of freshman you would be surprised how much alcohol they offer you. So after nearly doubling our alcohol content we decided to leave, and with good timing. Walking the stairwell down we had to explain to a REAL RA and COP that we were just heading out from our friends room (luckily we did know someone there). We learned that they were actually looking for us, guess not all the freshman were laughing about the ordeal.

So we started the long walk to his apartment, and ended up walking stright through another random party. This unattractive girl walking around with two bottles of alcohol offered us a drink. I grabbed the bottle and took a pull from it, then passed it to my bud. I was talking with the girl for a brief second when I looked up and somehow read my friends mind. He was stealing the bottle, and I knew I was stuck being the distraction. I grabbed the girl and made out with her until I saw him turn the corner (It’s not hard to convince yourself to kiss someone when ur this drunk). After a quick “gotta go,” I caught up with him and his new half empty bottle.

By now the sky let loose and the rain started. We were still on our walk to his place while taking pulls from the bottle. Out in the distance there was a door on some stands in the middle of campus. Some makeshift table but we saw bee pong table opportunity so it basically became my new umbrella until we made it to his place.

It’s really confusing when you wake up with a major hangover, a door laying on top of you, a RA badge on your shirt, an empty bottle of some fruity vodka, and a phone message from your own RA (also a friend) saying he had to go to a meeting in the morning about uping security due to fake RA’s going around, and somehow he knew I was involved.

We capped it off with Mcdonalds and Busch light.

Only in College…

From Linds:

One weekend during fall semester of my sophomore year, a bunch of people put together a “Burning Man” party by the river in honor of no longer having Bush in office. A few of my friends and I got together and had some beers and smoked a few bowls before calling it a night–now keep in mind I’m underage, so I used my roommate’s backpack to carry the beer and liquor down to the river. Monday morning rolls around, and my roommate and I are in class, when she reaches into her bag to pull out our books….and ends up pulling out a half-full bottle of red wine…none of us drink wine.

Only in College…

From Shannon:

A true friend will make it out to your 21st birthday party no matter the circumstance… I was the last in our group to turn 21, unfortunately it was during finals week. My friend Anne had her first final at 7:30 am the next day, but she proceeded to drink with us until 2:30 am and at the after party till 4:00 am. She went to her final at 7:30. She is currently retaking that class in summer school. She is a true friend.

Only in College…

From Katie:

My friends and I decided to party the day before classes to mourn the end of our freedom as the start of a new semester approached. The bartender gave us all plenty of free shots, all of which my friends passed off to others and I continually took. Thanks to the bartender, I extended my vacation an extra day as I was too hungover to attend my first day of classes.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

Ok, so its exam week, everybody is stressed out except for me and about 5 other wasters! The night before one of my friends exams, he decided not to study but to go for a couple of beers at the school pub. That was his first mistake. Several pints of beer and an unknown number of shots later we decide it probably time we should leave…exams and all that. However on the way the guy in question (let’s call him Paul because his name is Paul) decides to go to the off license for some hard liquor. That was his second mistake.

Long story short, after several hours of serious drinking I awoke to a lot of laughter. I went to see what was happening and there was Paul, shirtless in the bath with his hair partially shaved and colored in with black permanent marker, with full beard and pirates style eye patch. As if that wasn’t enough one of the more artistic guys in the group drew an uncanny likeness of Che Guevara on his back along with the usual unimaginative drunken scrawlings of put dick here, swastikas etc. So the guy wakes up 40minutes before his exam starts covered in permanent marker, and still basically drunk. I’m not certain but I think this might have something to do with him washing cars these days.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

It was my last day of school, and I was in Bio taking my final. Not even 5 minutes into the test, a guy turns in his scantron. Stunned, the professor says “Done already?” As the kid is walking out of class, some guy behind me goes “I applaud you sir!” and another says “setting the grading curve!” The whole class, including the professor, just burst out laughing as this poor guy is trying to get out of the room as quickly as possible.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

This story sadly does not involve drinking. I had stayed up way too long a night before. I came to class too late, and when I came in, there were only a few places left in the first row, with no folding tables (for note-taking) in front of me. Got a nasty stare from the teacher when I interrupted the polymer chemistry class, it is hard to sit down in the first row unnoticed.

Anyways, I started to take notes, but soon noticed that I was *really* tired. I gave up on trying to write, and changed my ambition to just listening. Soon, that proved too taxing, so I further downgraded it to just staying awake.

I also failed.

Since this was in the first row, nothing stopped me. I fell *literally* asleep, and feel off my chair on the floor, and there was a loud thud when my head hit the floor. Snickers here and there, and I felt like a complete fool. To top it off, the teacher was a neighbour of my family, and he asked me afterwards why I did not get enough sleep. Did not tell my folks, though.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

I was studying abroad. My roommate and I noticed we were randomly friends on Facebook with someone from here (probably drunken Facebook). We decided to messaged him and asked him the best places to visit here. I was expecting a reply with places to go; instead, he gave us his phone number and told us he would show us around. He took us out at the Euro Clubs. All of his friends were so welcoming and friendly and glad we were visiting Sweden. We were a little worried about what Swedes would think of Americans, but they all loved us free of judgement. I left after having the time of my life and feeling as if I knew these people for years. If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be here.

Only in College…

From Munni:

I was walking pass one of the parks on campus. There was this open pathway between the pond and another building. There were three cute guys up ahead sitting and chatting with each other. So, I decided to walk to the three guys and flirt when all of a sudden this huge duck comes flying from the pond side and slaps me in the face with its left wing and body. The three guys jumped up, laughed and asked me if I was alright. I was sooooo embarrassed, I just said a quick yes and ran away.

Only in College…

From Dani:

This past semester I studied abroad in Milan,Italy with my roomate. On the weekends we traveled to different parts of Europe. Well one weekend we went to Barcelona. It was a pretty drunk weekend I can say the least. But I had an earlier flight then my roomates, which meant I had to leave my hostel at 3 am. I decided to go to the bar, I ended up leaving with this kid I met on an earlier trip, and things happened. Well to say the least, I missed the bus to the airport thanks to him convincing me to stay. Well, I kind of convinced myself I would make it to the airport on time on the next bus. I show up to the airport and they explain my flight just took off. Next thing I know I have to sit on the airport for 12 hours. And as I’m getting my bags checked I hear these annoying girls, and I turn around and its all my friends!!! They all thought I was at home sleeping, well little did they know I missed my flight because I was hooking up with a guy. Oh and on this road trip I lost my phone and memory card to my camera!!

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

My family and relatives were at my graduation last week. They couldn’t believe I have finally graduated after five years. Well, I finally got all my grades today, I did not pass one of my classes. I am 3 credits shy now. I was going to go to China next month. But instead, I’ll be taking a summer course.

Only in College…