From DW:

Let me start off by clarifying I use a Mac. For those who don’t know, Macs have “spaces,” where you open up different screens for more workspace. Anyways, I had my computer hooked up to the class projector for my finals presentation. I used a clicker, so I was standing all the way on the other side of the classroom. I didn’t know my AIM was still opened on another space. During the middle of my presentation, my girlfriend sent me an aim message, and the messsage box popped up right in the middle of the screen, I’ll copy and paste what my class was able to read:

“how did the presentation go?
i stopped by victoria secret’s earlier, i can’t wait for tonight, i have a special treat for you tonight”

I ran to my computer, minimized AIM, but not before my whole class knew that my girlfriend went lingerie shopping.

Only in College…

From Prankster:

My friend and I were at the computer lab last night, working on our papers. While she went to the vending machines, I decided to give her a scare. I saved her paper onto my flash drive, deleted the file on hers, and restarted her comp. Our school computers had an auto refresh/log out thing if your computer has nothing opened and it hasn’t been touched for ten minutes. When she got back, I pretended to be unaware of the whole situation. After a few minutes of her panicking and cursing every swear word in the English/urban dictionary, I told her what happened. I got a good laugh out of it.

Only in College…

From Jordan:

I was quite nervous because in ten minutes it was my turn to present. You know how most of us get a few minutes before a public speech or presentation; fast heart beat, fast breathings, sweaty, and nervous. That’s how I was feeling at that time. I grabbed a rubber band from my backpack and started stretching it out and rolling it around my two index fingers, in a circular motion. I was trying to take my mind off of the fact that I was about present. The closer I was to presenting, the more feverishly I stretched the rubber band. The presenter was just about done, so it was my turn. I was so nervous at this point that I stretched the rubber band too much and it snapped and hit me right in the eye. I shrieked like a little bitch and the whole class looked at me. I was in pain, I could feel my eye swelling up. I tried playing it off but it was already swelling. I got up to the front of the class and started with my presentation. I tried to ignore the fact that with each second passing I looked more and more like the elephant man. Well, things got worse. It was a history class and instead of saying King Henry the 4th, I misread the roman numeral and pronounced it “King Henry I-V.” Fuck my life.

Only in College…

From Lucas:

To celebrate our newly acquired Alumni status, a few friends and I went out last night. We pre-gamed at home while watching the Lakers/Rockets game. Someone suggested we should take a shot/chug a beer for every shot Kobe made. Well, Kobe took a lot of shots, made a lot of shots, so we took a lot of shots on top of the mixed drinks we were having. I remember going to the bars, but do not remember anything at the bars, or how I woke up in my female roommate’s bed. Finds out, I got home, proceeded to her room, woke her up, asked her for a sexual favor, got denied, whipped out my peter, started pissing on her bed, she slapped me, left the room, and I fell asleep in my own piss. She has a subletter for the summer and she’s providing the furniture.

Only in College…

From Lewis:

I was in one of those big lecture classes. You know, 200+ people, one big auditorium. Well, there was a beautiful girl in my row who I had been systematically trying to win over. The professor asked if any students would like to go first on a project presentation. Thinking I could impress her by being bold and going first, I raised my hand. He called on me. I got up made my way towards the stairs to walk down to the stage. Well, my friend was at the end seat and he stuck his foot out and fucking tripped me! I fell face first on the steps and rolled down about three of them. I was literally in shock about what had just unfolded, but I still had to present. The entire class was chuckling under their breathes as I made my way down to the stage. I couldn’t shake off what had just happened and consequently I couldn’t remember a fucking thing about my presentation. I was like a deer frozen in some god damn headlights. I was worthless. It was the worst ten minutes of my life. More awkward moments than I ever want to have for the rest of eternity.

Only in College…

From Jacob:

We started a food fight in the cafeteria. It started out a small incident at our table. One half eaten apple hit me square in the nose. I picked up my slice of pizza and flung it on his face. I thought it would end there but two seconds later I see a bowl of mashed potatoes hit my friend in the chest. He took a cup of lemonade and threw it at their table. That is when shit hit the fan and multiple tables got into it. For a few minutes it was absolute madness. Food and drinks flying everywhere. We felt like little kids but it was a time I’ll never forget. I don’t know about the others, but I booked it before the campus security took control of the situation.

Only in College…

From David:

My friends and I were studying at the library. I went to the bathroom, come back, my desktop is a gay firefighter in the background. My friends couldn’t stop laughing. Very funny, I said. It wasn’t over though, for the next hour or so, they continued to look at each other, nodding and shaking. I knew something was up, I asked them what else did they do. One of them said, you should check your Facebook. I went to my Facebook page and discovered about a dozen of my friends commented on my new info which included a new profile picture, the gay groups I joined, I’m interested in guys now, and one of my favorite activities is wearing short shorts while working out. I put a screensaver password now on my computer.

Only in College…

From Caitlin:

I’m a Freshmen at University of Wisconsin-Madison. This past weekend, I experienced my first Mifflin Block party. There are pictures from previous years posted under “random stuff.” Anyways, drinking started in my dorm room at 8 in the morning. Beer Bongs, shotgun, flip cup, you name it. At Mifflin, I broke my phone, lost my phone, blacked out by early afternoon, woke up in my room, discovered a Qdoba receipt in my coat pocket, a Cold stone receipt in jeans pocket, no voice today. I think it’s safe to say Mifflin was a success.

Only in College…

From Bad Beat:

I stayed in Friday and Saturday night to study for finals. I did not have another final until Tuesday, so last night, I decided to take a break from it all and go play some cards at a local poker room. I was pretty disciplined all night long, first bad beat of the night was when my all-in pre-flop AK went against AQ and AJ, guy with AQ hit trips. I sucked it up and decided to buy back in. I made amazing reads at my table all night long, folded my Kings to Aces, and Queens to Aces. I dodged two improbable bullets, I just told myself to be patient, pick my spot.

Fast forward two hours of folding and stealing blinds, I decided to use my tight play to raise it up since I had the dealer button (last to act). Two people behind me called, I knew I had the best hand once I saw the flop, I had two pair. First guy bet out, second guy folded, there was no flush draw or straight draw, so I decided to raise, he re-raised. I told him, I know you have the Ace, I push all my money in, he calls, I turn over my two pair, he turned over Ace Jack. He acknowledges defeat and says “nice read.” The guy who folded had Jacks, so he only had one out (roughly 4%). I was feeling good, knowing he had only ONE out, biggest pot of my life, I got up, ready to gather my winnings and leave to go home and study. A Jack comes on the turn…I couldn’t believe it, completely stunned, motionless. I always took poker beats really well, but the size of the pot was too much to swallow.

I left the poker room, and proceeded to the closest bar, and started ordering shots by myself. Probably ordered five to six shots in half an hour. Started drunk texting asking if any of my friends wanted to join in, unfortunately no one wanted to, so I continue to drink by myself.

I woke up this morning with my room totally trashed, clothes everywhere, holes in the walls, broken window. I asked my roommate what happened, he said I came home all obliterated, proceeded to my room and started swearing and punching the walls. I asked them why didn’t they stop me, he replied, “I’ve never seen a person that crazy before, you were like on PCP.”

Only in College…

From Wako Kid, aka 18-year old homeless kid:

This story happened in the winter of this year. I go to school in Kentucky, and if you live anywhere near here than you would know about the big ice storm. This ice storm had us trapped in our dorms for about 3 or 4 days. Being bored as hell, I decide to throw the meanest party a dry campus had ever seen.

I woke up at the ass crack of noon, and had a handle of whiskey right by my bed so I had the breakfest of champions (about 4 shots), and then talked to about like 6 or 7 of my friends. They were ready for the all day all night drink-a-thon. So we go get 3 24 packs, and start calling people. By 7:30 we had about 30 people on the 4th floor of the dorms, and the handle was halfway gone, and beer was running short. The street beside the dorms was covered with broken glass and beer cans.

When that many people are partying at midnight, the RA’s will get called. The RA’s came up, and said they had already had 6 complaints on us. I was so drunk that I replied, “Now that is a good party” while laughing in his face. He told me that he had to take my beer and to quiet it down. My beer was un opened, and I’m not one to waste, so i took my key stabbed my beer and shotguned it in his face.

We partied until around 4. When i woke up, the RA told me that he had wrote me up 3 times. I said whatever and went back to bed.

So you think you party hard!!!!

Only in College…

From Jackson:

I was a junior in college, and I was at my friends house relaxing, drinking beer and watching some sports. It was a Friday and we had some fun plans for the night. Both of our girlfriends were to meet us at a house party at 10:00. Fast forward, its 10:45 and my friends GF is nowhere to be seen. He was drunk at this point and decided to call her (for the 10th time) and talk to her. She finally picked up. I was right next to him and I could hear her breathing REALLY HEAVY over the phone. Well, my friend thought he caught her IN THE ACT cheating on him. He cursed her out for a good 5 minutes and broke up with her over the phone.

It turns out she was having an asthma attack, and could barely breath…

She broke up with him the next morning.

Only in College…

From JD:

It was 2:30 in the morning, I decided to take a study break. My roommate was dead asleep, his laptop was on, and he takes all his class notes on it. So I decided to have some fun with it, I googled a program where I can set certain keys to turn his music on. I proceeded to download Christina Aguilera’s “Genie in a Bottle,” and set that song to play when he hit a combination of keys (apple option arrow to be exact – to highlight words).

Later that morning, I get a text from him, “i applaud you, im going to kill you now. it went off in the middle of class and my prof stopped his lecture and singled me out. ps. now the whole class thinks i’m gay.”

Only in College…