From Tom:

This happened in my freshmen year in the dorms. I had planned to drink the night after I conquered 3 exams in the same day. Immediately after my last exam, I dashed back to my dorm room and started celebrating by pounding shots of vodka to release my stress. It was a Tuesday night, so my friends did not partake in my fiesta. Call me an alcoholic, but everyone should understand the pressure and anxiety that comes along with studying for 3 exams on the same day! I do not remember what happened the rest of the night, but according to my friends and the housefellow’s report, this is the story:

I went to dinner with them. We got food, but for some smart reason, I left after one bite into my sandwich, called my friend, “You’re a fag.” Sprinted back to my room, but not before I stole eggs from somewhere, and threw the eggs at our dorm floor’s bulletin board. The bulletin board was right outside the housefellow’s room. She heard me giggling when I threw the eggs, followed me back to my room where she found me puking in my room with the door open. My friends finished their late dinner and mine, and they found the housefellow holding me up to make sure my puke would make it into the trash can. Our housefellow wanted to take me to detox but thankfully my friends somehow convinced her that I did not need to go to detox and that they will take turns watching me to make sure I don’t die.

I woke up tomorrow with the worst hangover of my life: like knives penetrating through my head. What made matter was, I had to meet with the dorm officials. They kicked me out of the dorm for underage drinking. Good, because according to my friends, the dorm room reeked of my vomit smell for the rest of the semester. I hated my roommate anyways.

Only in College…

From Franz:

We were getting dinner freshman year on campus. After grabbing our burgers etc, we decided to sit outside and enjoy the warm weather while we ate. About 20 yards from our table is a dormitory that is about 13 stories tall. We had a direct view of this dormitory as we ate.

In the middle of chewing my french fries, low and behold, I spot a naked chick three stories up. I immediately point it out to all my buddies.

This chick was completely naked, checking herself out in front of her life size mirror. Little did she realize that even though she was on the 3rd floor, people at the outdoor dining area had a great view. Blinds are on windows for a reason; and she was not taking advantage of them. So for the next 15 minutes, we enjoyed our fabulous lunch with front row seats to a naked chick modeling herself.

When we finished eating, we yelled loud enough to get her attention, smiled and waved at her, and then gave her two thumbs up each.

Only in College…

From Frenchie:

8 am French MWF was an awful idea. I didn’t go to half the classes and was therefore not passing the class by the end of the semester. I needed to get a perfect score plus on the oral proficiency exam just to receive a passing grade. Not wanting to take the class over again, I decided to put a little more oral into the exam with my TA. We were both happy with the results and I didn’t have to take the class over.

Only in College…

From Monica:

I got drunk on a Tuesday night for my roommates birthday. I decided Wednesday morning it was better to go to class extremely hungover then to miss it completely since attendance is a large part of our grade. In the long run it would’ve been much better for me to skip the class. I awake to my class laughing and my teacher shaking me. Apparently I passed out on my desk and was making sex noises. I got a 0 for participation that day which I would’ve gotten if I’d have skipped the class anyways. I’m now known as Mona.

Only in College…

From Dee:

So I’m a female, my roommate is male. No attraction to one another so things usually get entertaining, not dramatic. Upon receiving admission into my top graduate school choice, I decided to party. I partied harder then what I did on my 21st.

I got home at 2:30 and do not remember getting home. I decided it would be a great idea to run around the apartment naked. I was puking, making messes in the kitchen, living room and bathroom. Apparently my roommate felt awkward around me naked and thus didn’t want to stop my puking around the apartment frenzy; instead he took pictures for memories sake. When I woke up, it looked like a thief entered our apartment and turned over everything. Some of the stuff was unrepairable. The pictures are even worse.

Only in College…

From Jim:

This is the story of me being completely and utterly drunk off my ass, in class… at 10 a.m. on a Wednesday morning.

Last year’s MLB opener was my favorite team, the A’s against the Red Sox in Japan. My roommate is a Red Sox fan, so we decided to get a case of beer for this game. The thing is, it started at 3 a.m., which obviously is not a normal time to begin drinking on a Wednesday. We got up at 2 a.m. and began pounding cans of Budweiser.

Fast forward to 6 in the morning. Our roommate was shocked as hell entering the living room in his sleepy state to find empty beer cans everywhere and two hammered kids screaming at the television. Not something you expect to see when going to the bathroom after waking up so early in the morning. The game ended around 6:30 or so, which did not signify the end of drinking. After killing our 24 pack, we found more beer in one of the refrigerators and continued to drink.

Fast forward to 9:15 in the morning, when I have 8 minutes to catch the bus two blocks from my house. I cracked my last beer open and slammed it within 20 seconds, crushed it against my forehead, threw it down and ventured out the front door to catch the bus. I was decently dressed and had my backpack on. I vividly remember this walk to the bus stop. My body was leaning forward and to the left, which is not normal. Upright and straight is normal.

I met my buddy in class, and we sat down in our usual seats.
“Holy shit you wreak of booze!”
“Wellz no shits Ids been dreenking for za past ate hours” I managed to sputter.

Throughout the class I would pass out. I had my right hand propped against my face because I was too drunk to keep my head up on its own. When I would temporarily lose consciousness, my face would slide off my hand, causing the hand to violently slap down against the table. When the professor is talking and everyone is listening intently, it tends to disturb the class. I’d come back into consciousness to see people staring at me, giving me dirty looks.

This process repeated itself throughout the entirety of the class. I’d be awake for a few minutes, pass out, slap the desk with my hand, and then wake up to see people giving me dirty ass looks. Keep in mind it is ten in the morning when all of this is happening on a Wednesday. I can only imagine what must have been going through their heads witnessing myself in this state. When class ended I decided that I really should go home and sleep. It was a bad idea to go to campus.

Only in College…

From KrazyKyle32:

It was during one of our boring economic courses. Another lecture, as usual. My buddy and I had been out late the previous night. Consequently we could barely keep our eyes open let alone pay attention to the lecture. Our professor is evil, and his class is structured in such a way that he will randomly call on people to answer a question. As you all know, this can be a very nerve wracking experience if you aren’t prepared for it.

Well you probably know where this story is headed. The professor called on my friend, and to be honest we didn’t have the slightest clue. My buddy had cock blocked me the previous day so I felt it was only fair to get him back. He was practically asleep when the teacher called on him. He snapped to attention and realized that the teacher was waiting for an answer, along with the rest of the class.

Under my breath I muttered, “Micheal Jackson’s dance moves were influenced by the early Persian empires lower class.”

WORD FOR WORD HE REITERATED, “Micheal Jackson’s dance moves were influenced by the early Persian empires lower class.”

THE WHOLE CLASS ERUPTED IN ABSOLUTE LAUGHTER, INCLUDING MYSELF.

The Professor gave him one of those, “You’ve got to be kidding me looks” and then called on somebody else.

Lesson learned, don’t mess with ze kyle!

Only in College…

From Eddy the dance all star:

It was finals week and I had been studying like crazy all day. I desperately needed a break to keep me sane, so my lights went down as the music volume rose up. I was dancing to some music when this girl who I had the hots for came by unexpectedly and barged into my room while I was in the middle of a fairly advanced dance move. I was embarrassed, and she was laughing hysterically.

Only in College…

From Micheal:

I wrecked my car during college. I could make up some elaborate story to convince everybody that it wasn’t my fault… but it was.

I happened to be driving in front of a sorority house… while a gazillion of them were tanning on the front lawn. My eyes were transfixed on the girls, and not the road in front of me. Let’s just say it was the first time I ever rear ended somebody.

I didn’t score too many points with the girls either.

Only in College…

From Aaron L:

I was kicking around the soccer ball at the park with my buddy. Intramural soccer started in a few short days so we wanted to hone our skills. I didn’t consider myself a strong striker until I sent a little boy flying 5 feet in the air

Only in College…

From georgiev:

It was finals week and I was cramming for a following days exam. I fell asleep late into the night with my face still in the books. I slept through the alarm clock, and my exam.

Only in College…