From Anonymous:

This is a story from a while back, but it’s a good one. I was a frosh, week two of school in DC. I was rushing a frat and they threw a party – the standard ‘let’s get drunk and tear the house apart’ kind of thing. Standard. it was fun, but nothing exciting. At some point after beer 15 or so, a few of the brothers and their girlfriends decide to go across the street to their apartment to order late night italian subs. I was sleeping with a girl that one of those brothers had a crush on, and I think to make me jealous of his fairly hot girlfriend he invited me along to order a sandwhich. A) I wasn’t jealous but more importantly B) after ordering my sandwhich I passed out on the floor of their bathroom for about an hour. When I woke up, everybody had passed out and it was about 4 in the morning. I called the campus shuttle service to come pick me up and take me back to my dorm, and just before I slammed the door, realized I should have a italian floating around somewhere – checked the fridge… yup – fucking awesome. So I take the sandwhich and start to eat it in the elevator as I go down.

Now, usually the shuttle is a silly dodge van that drives around, but after 4 (I didn’t know this) they shut down the vans and send campus-police as the shuttle, to save costs or something. So, there I am, in a beer stained wife beater and black leather jacket, eating this enormous sandwhich, when this university police guy pulls up – this huge officer tells me to get in after explaining he’s there to take me home. I’m floored – i have a mouth full of ham and mustard but i figure ‘what the fuck’ so i get in the front seat and keep eating. About three minutes later the guy says, in a really deep black-guy voice, ‘you really like that sandwhich, don’t you?’ to which i look at him and just without thinking at all say ‘yes ma’am.’

Realizing my mistake almost immediately, I look down, cram the rest of my sandwhich in my mouth, and motion for the guy to let me out here – ‘Fuck it,’ I’m thinking ‘I’ll walk. get me out of this car before he drives me directly to jail.’

Now, here’s where the night gets interesting – it’s about 4:15 by this point I guess, and I’m standing next to the tennis courts across from another row of fraternity houses. The tennis courts are surrounded on all sides by an 18 foot chain link fence and one of the frats back yard was up against the far wall. I hear Garth Brooks playing out the back of the house and for some reason i said to myself, ‘Holy shit there’s country music and I have to go there now’ – instead of walking around the corner to the frat house, I climbed both the first 18 foot chain link fence and the second one into their backyard, dropping down into a private brothers/girlfriends all-night beer pong match. You can imagine their surprise when a plastered frosh emerges in the dark at 4:30 in the morning down from an 18 foot fence. i quickly explained that I HAD to party with them, and for some reason they were cool with that.

I ended up kicking ass at beer pong which rarely happens, flirting and hugging all the girls cause my mother used to play the Garth Brooks greatest hits CD all the time and i knew all the words and the girls did but the brothers didn’t, and then at about 6:30 I stumbled back to my dorm and blacked out in the elevator.

Next thing i know, I wake up in the bathtub, fully clothed (but dry), wearing my jacket, and my roommate (who doesn’t drink) is pissing in the toilet – i sort of clear my throat and he turns around, looks at me, gives me that, ‘I don’t know if I should be sorely disappointed and disgusted in your humanity or terrified cause you shocked the shit out of me’ look but I think he decided on mix of disappointed/disgusted at a 70/30 ratio respectively.

Apparently a friend found me in the elevator just a few minutes before the routine 8am security sweep, picked me up, and took me to my room, found my key in my pocket, dragged me in, and dumped me in the bathtub.

What a night!

Only in College…

4 Responses to “Up and Over the Fence”

Leave a Reply

Name

Email (not shown)

Website