From Ben:

My friend had just broken up with his girlfriend and was feeling really down about it so I got a few of our mutual friends together and we decided to just get plastered off tequila shots. In 20 minutes the five of us had finished a liter of Cuervo and my depressed buddy and I shared 20 oz of Patron which we downed in three massive gulps each. One of our friends shows up late but is drunk from hanging out with other friends and suggests we walk across campus to get some 40’s.

So we all make the trek and along the way I jump on every parked car I see trying to set the alarm off. I fail on all attempts but manage to dent a few. We all down a 40 and decide to explore the maintenance tunnels that link all the major buildings on campus. I blackout as we descend the ladder to the tunnels. I wake up in my friends room covered in trash, coffee grains and Honey Bunches of Oats. I get out of bed and observe that we have managed to shatter the clear plastic bin in which he kept all his food.

Neither of us knew you could shatter that kind of plastic. On my walk back to my room I notice multiple exit signs missing from various parts of the ceiling. As I round the corner to my room I find one exit sign that was obviously bashed by a very hard object. I enter my room and find a janitor’s mop bucket, a baseball bat, a mini fridge and an overturned shopping cart containing two smashed exit signs and three different kinds of street signs. This night was definitely one we will never forget despite our inability to remember anything.

Only in College…

From Danielle:

I was at the bar getting hit on by this super hot guy. Unfortunately, my friends were drunk and thought it would be a great idea to make the situation awkward. My guy friend started calling me his girlfriend, while my roommate kept licking my arm and ear. They took it to extremes when they bit me on the arm and ear. To top it off they tucked their shirts in the pants and pulled them up to their waist, then started air humping me.

Only in College…

From Linds:

One weekend during fall semester of my sophomore year, a bunch of people put together a “Burning Man” party by the river in honor of no longer having Bush in office. A few of my friends and I got together and had some beers and smoked a few bowls before calling it a night–now keep in mind I’m underage, so I used my roommate’s backpack to carry the beer and liquor down to the river. Monday morning rolls around, and my roommate and I are in class, when she reaches into her bag to pull out our books….and ends up pulling out a half-full bottle of red wine…none of us drink wine.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

I was in FL visiting my brothers. I haven’t seen them in eight years, the last three because I’ve been going to school in Germany. Well, all my brothers wanted to see if they could out drink me and I figured that would take forever so I didn’t want to. So, my brother Rob suggests that we buy a keg and see how fast we can drink it. I was ok with that so there were my 3 bros and I doing everything short of keg stands drinking this keg. We finished it in 2 hours and 20 some minutes. We’re all 185lbs+, 6′+ so we were barely buzzing so we went to some hickish old people bar and drank shots till they could barely walk. Rob calls his girlfriend to come pick us up. We all get in the his huge ass dodge ram (I hate huge trucks) and what does she do? She drives into a fucking tree. We went flying over the cab into branches and leaves into a ditch. I know I could’ve drove and made it home just fine. It was only sixish blocks away. Might as well have been driving drunk.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

I go to UNLV, so all my friends want to visit me. One night we got way too drunk at this really trendy club. I ended up losing my friend and didnt find her until 5 in the morning. Some dude brought her back into the casino where the club was after screwing her in the parking garage. I found this other guy while looking for her and he ended up taking us back to his hotel so that we wouldn’t go to jail (yeah right). My friend ended up taking off ALL her clothes and hopping in bed with some guy she didn’t even know as soon as we walked into the room. She ended up having sex with 3 guys that night. And turns out, I like sex too. Oooopsy. Moral: Always help drunk girls in Vegas. Cause what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, mostly cause you cant remember half the story

Only in College (UNLV)…

From Anonymous:

When I was going to Eastern Kentucky University, well, lets just say I didnt study alot. One night my friends and I were at a party and a few people needed a ride from the dorms. So being the brave idiot I was at the time- I decided that I’d go pick them up…After hammering half a bottle of Vodka (and Im not a big girl-115 pounds) I drag some people with me as I head out the door and we make our way to the dorms.

On the way there, I made a sharp turn and flipped my headlights off. Cops look out for that sort of thing in a college town so, to no surprise, I get pulled over. As soon as I saw the blue lights, everything started to look really really pretty. The trees were greener, the sky was huge and for some reason I got these chill bumps and my heart was pounding out of my chest. As the cop walked up to my car, my friend told me that she had slipped some’never done E, plus I was drunk!!! So the cop gives me the monkey test, I stumble and almost fall when he asks me to touch my nose and stand on one foot. I told him I was nervous and that I’d never done this before. He then asked me if I had contacts – told me I was a pretty girl and to go home as soon as possible! Damn cops are stupid. Thank God! Moral: Watch your drinks if your gonna drive drunk- Oh yeah, and uh, look hot.

Only in College (EKU)…

From Anonymous:

My Freshman year of College I did the normal weekend things that Freshman do. Binge Drink, Try to get laid, Puke, then… drink some more. One Saturday some buddies from my dorm and I were all drinking in my room. I had already managed about a 18 pack during the football game that afternoon. We were in my room had a Beer Bong and really started to hit it hard as we played some cards and Madden. We then decided it would be a good idea to throw shots of vodka on top of the beers we were bonging so we did not taste the Vodka. I dont know how much I had to drink, but it was a ton, I was crazy drunk.

We decided to head out to the local Bar/Dance club scene. My Buddy drove and we got to the bar. This is a huge club with a big dance floor, blaring music and lotsa people. I get to the door of the bar and get a wristband as an adult (thanks to a fake) I am only 19. We immediately make it over to the bar and I grab a Double Jack and Coke. Me and my buddies drink a few of these as we sit at a table looking at the women dancing. This is where things start to get a little Fuzzy for me. We make it out to the dance floor and I am half talking / yelling over the music with a girl I am dancing with. Things are going sweet. Then it happened, I look over and one of my buddies that I came with is face to face with another guy.

They are yelling at each other. my buddy is the drunk that always fights… I make my way over to them. Just as I got to him I remember the guy said “Go ahead and hit me!” My buddy cracked this guy and they start fighting right on the dance floor. I grab my buddy to get him the hell out of there and I get pushed and punched by another guy. I just saw stars and could feel I was bleeding immediately. I am confused as hell, people are flying everywhere and about 7 bouncers grab me and my buddy and practically carry us to the front door, out into the street we went, grudgingly and drunkinly yelling about injustice. Luckily, Right as a Police officer was going by. I think for a second about running, but I know I wont get far in this condition. Good thing I didnt because a bike cop was coming from the other way. After a few minutes the officer had seen and heard enough of us. I get handcuffed and we get told we are under arrest for Disorderly Conduct and Public Intox… On the way to Jail I feel my mouth fill up with saliva and I get sick all over the back of the car… Talk about a long night in the drunk tank. I dry heaved beside a bunch of random dudes for like 3 hours till I was released.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

I went to a friend’s party last night because some guys I know are moving away. Anyways, I started calling people from work up and bitching them out about work and their attitude towards me. I then called my actual work and left a messenge on my boss’ answering machine and told him and the company to fuck themselves. I told them that they pay me low ass wages and I hated working there. I probably should not go to work tomorrow, I’m guessing I probably got fired.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

There’s nothing special about this story except that…IT WAS THE LUCKIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. I am not much of a ladies man. In fact, I am bit nerdy, but I am not ashamed to admit it. Anyways, a week ago I was drunk and there were about six drunk girls at my friend pad. There was this fine blond girl with a nice rack and a blue mini-skirt who I later found out was named “Kate.” Erik told me to go for it, and as usual I told him it would be a cold day in hell before she even talked to me, but when I went to the kitchen to take a couple shots a fucking miracle happened.

I walked in and the girl was crying her ass off. Okay, I know, not what you call a Christmas miracle or anything, but I knew this was my chance to play up the nice friendly nerd card. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that her boyfriend was fucking some other girl so they broke up a week ago. Being kinda drunk I guess she just broke down so I invited her to take a couple shots with me. We took a shot of JD and vodka and I told her she could hang out in my room until she felt better. She took my advice and I told her I would check on her in like 10 minutes. When I went in to check on her she was on my computer watching some porn of a blond chick giving a bj that I was jerking it to earlier. What a fucking moron. I left that shit on my queue in Winamp.

I ran over, apologized, and reached over to shut it off, but this fine ass drunk girl just turned to me and said “I can do that way better than that.” I bet that she couldn’t and after a bit of coaxing she was sucking my cock while I had a bottle of Jim Beam in my hand. Erik knocked on the door in the middle of it to see that we were okay and I yelled that we were sleeping. Then this girl started going wild and asked me to fuck her “as hard as I could.” I happily obliged and had the best sex I have ever had in my entire young life. The next morning I woke up at around noon and she was gone. I haven’t talked to her.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

My friends and I decided to go and get a room at a motel nearby and just have a party there and crash for the night. A couple of guys piled into my car as we drove to the hotel noticing that a lot of people were in the elevator and were going to the same floor we were. It turns out we had about 50 to 60 people in one small room all cramped. We had some beers laying around so we just started drinking like crazy. After that, we just hit the bed. The next morning we all start to wake up and there was this woman in our room. Supposedly some people that were staying in the next room heard some noises and contacted the front desk. Since the front desk could not get in because we had a stereo cranked up so loud and people passed out they decided to wait till morning when they had the motel manager with the keys. They threw us out and said that we could not come back even if we wanted a room to sleep in.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

A friend and I are spending a few weeks at my beach house in NC and decided to throw a party on a pier not to far from the house. First thing we did after our morning 12 pack was print up a bunch of flyers and pass them out to random people on the beach. The next step was to go and get some beer and JD seeing as how we made it a point on the flyers to bring a case and drink of choice it seemed only fair that we did the same. Around 7pm or so people started showing up and I mean a lot of them. After several hours had past and who knows how much alcohol, I look up and see a flag poll at the end of the pier with 2 lights on either side so that it formed a cross that stood about 15 feet above the pier (which was already about 20 feet off the water). Now I know what you are thinking and you are kind of right but that comes in a sec.

After sitting up there for about 5 min I call to my buddy who is sitting below me trying to mack on a group of girls to throw me a bottle of JD. After doing so and taking a few swigs I look to the end of the pier to see several squad cars on the road and about 20 cops making their way towards us. I call my friend’s name and point trying to stutter “cops.” He turns to see what I am pointing to and with out missing a beat yells “cops!!!” It is at this moment that everyone looks and panics. Finally some one dives over the side. Seeing this everyone starts to do the same. And here I am stuck up here on a fucking flag pole. My buddy yelled at me “jump you pussy” and finally gets me to leap off the flag pole into the water.

On the way down I stuck my thumb in the bottle of JD (can’t let that go to waste) just seconds before landing a great 40 foot belly flop (yeah it hurt). As I surface I here my friend say man that was sick (as if I didnt already know). As we float for a sec to get our bearings we look to the beach where everyone is already going and see more cops waiting for them to arrive, so we did what any smart intoxicated person would do, we swam out away from the beach in to open ocean in the middle of the night. After swimming about 200 yards we decide to swim for the beach house which is about a mile from the pier. As my buddy was swiming I just held on to his foot and continue to drink from the bottle of JD that I brought along for the ride and drunkly hum the theme to Jaws. After about an hour or so we arrive on the beach in front of the house and crawl acoss the sand and up the stairs to find 2 cops sitting in some chairs on the front deck.

It seems that while we were making the flyers that morning we were drunk enough to put our phone number and address in case anyone had any questions. It just so happend that someone was nice enogh to give one to the cops right after we had bailed off the pier. After telling them the story they decided to let us off with a fine as long as we promised not to do throw another party on the pier, but they didn’t say anything about a party at the house which we did the very next night. Lesson learned: the next time you are partying on a beach I recommend not doing a 40 foot belly flop cause its a good way to kill a buzz and your balls.

Only in College…

From Anonymous:

My buddies and I were out drinking by the lake. It has been a good few hours, so each of us had a good amount of alcohol in our systems. We decided we needed a good laugh. So “Steve” decided to dare “Crazy Bob” to jump into the lake and if he did, we’ll each give him a few bucks. Everyone agreed. Without any hesitation, Crazy Bob took his wallet, keys, phone out his pockets, took off his shoes and socks and jumped into the lake. He came out shivering, the water wasn’t exactly warm yet. We got a good laugh. Thanks Bob.

Only in College…