From cdizzle:

I spent last fourth of July camping at a lake with a few good friends. We drank, attempted to fish, drank, swam, and drank some more during our trip. Our 2nd day into camping by the lake, a group of college-aged kids took the site next to us. There were 3-4 dudes and 3 girls if I remember correctly.

Around 7p.m. of our 2nd day camping and boozing all day, we started talking to these girls next to us. Their guy friends obviously were not too pleased – suckers. I was sitting on an inflatable chair at our campsite, after drinking for many hours, when one of the girls, whom I had not even said a single word to yet, walked up to me in her bathing suit and sat on my lap.

Now, when a girl walks up to you without saying anything and sits on your lap, and you’ve both been drinking a lot, shit’s about to go down. As the sun was dropping, so were her clothes inside our tent. We were fooling around for what seemed like an hour or so inside the tent when she crawled to the tent entrance for some fresh air. I followed her out. I noticed my brother passed out on the picnic table by the fire, with my other friends taking over the tent to pass out hammered.

We now had nowhere to continue hooking up. I couldn’t go in the tent. I had no idea where the keys to our car were, so we couldn’t go inside my car. We couldn’t go to her tent because everyone she came with was in there. I recommended we go down to the shore, even though it was quite rocky, and lay down a towel. She objected. So we compromised by laying down my towel, to the right of my car, a few feet from the dirt road. We pick up where we left off (no protection so I didn’t go there if you know what I mean.)

So, on the 4th of July, the night of fireworks, I am getting ready to get a BJ from this chick. I’m laying on my back and she begins to go to work when all of a sudden, I hear tires come to a halt directly behind my head, and bright lights shining directly on us.

In my “wtf” state, I turn my head around to see a cop car, staring directly at us a few feet behind me, with two cops shining their flashlights on us.

Needless to say, there were no fireworks, and it turned out this girl lied to me about her age, and wasn’t 18. What almost turned into some fireworks ended with me caught with my pants down, literally, by two cops, and almost arrested because she wasn’t 18.

Only In College…

From Lorie29:

It was Halloween weekend, and my friends and I were busy putting together our last minute costumes. We managed to transform ourselves into the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with just a few pieces of card board and duct tape, and a lot of creativity. Once ready, we headed over to a house party. We had been pre-gaming while constructing our costumes, so we were ready to have a great time. We walked inside the party and the place was rocking! The dance floor was packed, there were a plethora of kegs, and even an ice luge!

Within five minutes from our arrival, I see my roommate being thrown out of the party. I went over to try and play peacemaker and see what kind of mischief my roommate got himself into.

Turns out he thought it would be funny to duct tape the owner of the party who was passed out in the garage. This guy was covered neck to ankle in duct tape. It was a freakin’ work of art, a masterpiece. Too bad the frat boys and his entourage didn’t see it the same way I did. Oh well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

For future reference, I wouldn’t recommend doing what my roommate did, because we all got kicked out. So much for our wonderful costumes.

Only in College…

From Aaron L:

I was kicking around the soccer ball at the park with my buddy. Intramural soccer started in a few short days so we wanted to hone our skills. I didn’t consider myself a strong striker until I sent a little boy flying 5 feet in the air

Only in College…

From Blythe:

Me and 7 friends decided to go to our college basketball game. Not wanting to take 2 cars and pay double the parking and losing a person to designated driver, we decided to pack 8 people in one tiny car.

Good idea for us until a cop pulled us over. As he lectured us on not being safe, he gave us each a $55 seat belt ticket and told three of us to hop out and walk. We didn’t save money and missed the game.

Only in College…

From Sarah:

My guy of one week and I couldn’t wait to get back to my apartment, so we pulled over at a park and were getting it on. As things were getting heavy and my underthings were coming off, I hear a knock on the window. A cop is shining his light into the car asking us to put our clothes back on and step outside the vehicle. We received a ticket for indecent exposure. I need to appear in court next week: my dad is a judge.

Only in College…

From georgiev:

It was finals week and I was cramming for a following days exam. I fell asleep late into the night with my face still in the books. I slept through the alarm clock, and my exam.

Only in College…

From Brit:

This happened last year in the dorms. My roommate was never really considerate: coming home drunk on a Tuesday night, leaving all her things all over the floor, “borrowing my alcohol,” the list goes on and on. I dealt with all her BS all year, but this one night, she set me over the top.

It was a Saturday night, and her boyfriend was coming to visit (uh huh, I know trust me). She assured me he was going to spend the night but they were not going to do “anything.”

Anyways, I walk in after a party and what do I see? They were doing it on MY futon, not even her own bed, I couldn’t believe her. I walked out, left the door opened and proceeded to my friend’s room down the hall. The futon was tossed out the next day. We conversed very little after this incident.

Only in College…

This girl I knew had a teddy bear attached to the inside of her dorm window.  I had asked her about it a few days earlier, and she told me it was really important to her.  An ex boyfriend had given it to her for Valentines day.  How cute.

It was night time, and my room mate and I were on a mission to steal her prized teddy bear.  We dressed in black, and walked to her dorm.  We were right outside of her window looking in.  The bear was in its usual spot, suction cupped to the inside of her window.

I ducked down beneath her window and started making noises.  She peered out her window to find my room mate, butt cheeks and all, giving her the mooning of a life time.  I heard a high pitched scream, followed by a thud and then some cursing.  She dropped her hot chocolate!  She then opened the window and started yelling at my room mate (whom she did not recognize at the time).  As the window opened, I popped up and grabbed her teddy bear.  Before she could make it outside we were nowhere to be seen.  The next day, she received anonymous pictures of her teddy bear being hung in a noose.   The day after that she received a picture of her teddy bear enjoying some sun at the beach.  The next day after that, she received a picture of her teddy bear throwing back a bunch of beers.  The day after that, she received a hand written note from the teddy bear itself saying, “I hate to say this, but I have met somebody else.  They give me more attention, take me to the beach, and let me drink good beer.  I’m not coming back.”

Only in College…

One night I came home from partying and decided to make some food.  My room mate and I started on some spaghetti.  Half way through he opted to go to bed.  I on the other hand, was stoked to listen to some music and cook.

—

I woke up in a confused haze, there was smoke everywhere, and I was being carried outside by one of our property managers.  The smoke alarms were glaring.  Apparently I  passed out while listening to music.  The spaghetti didn’t magically turn itself off because I decided to sleep face first on my desk.   All the water in the pasta pot had evaporated, and now the noodles were on fire.
I almost KO’d my room mate and I.

Death by spaghetti?  Not this time.

Only in College…

From Boo:

One of my roommates came home drunk, knocked over my big screen TV, and proceeded to use my other roommate and his girlfriend as a toilet.  When he awoke, he denied it was him, saying he would never do such a thing.  We are currently taking applications for a new roommate…

Only in College…

It was a typical Saturday night.  Normal in the sense that I was at a house party getting drunk, trying to pull some tail.  The last keg had just been finished, and people were slowly starting to make their way to a new party.  I met up with a group of girls, one who I thought was cute.  My room mate last saw me leaving with her arm in arm.  Here is where the story gets interesting.  I do not remember leaving the party, and anything after that.  I woke up the next morning, in a strange, rather large and cold auditorium.  My body immediately went into fight or flight mode.

Where the heck was I?  What is going on?

I reach inside my pants to make a phone call, only to realize there was a rip the size of Texas.  To make matters worse, it  went right over the pocket that carried my wallet and phone….

Still drunk and confused, I walked around the large room, trying to put the pieces of this puzzle together. Well, it didn’t take me long until I realized that I was half a mile away from the house party, in our Universities auditorium.

…

Luckily it was a Sunday, so the rooms weren’t full of students.  I walked outside, and since I was near the dorms I went to try and visit a friend and get a few more hours of sleep.  Apparently Murphys Law was in full effect because I walked all the way over there only to realize that there was no way I could contact my friend.

I was stranded, thirsty, and embarrassed.  I wanted to get off of campus before everbody else woke up and saw me, so I started walking back to my friends house.  I finally arrived, and burst in the door, exhausted but thankful to be back.  My room mate was asleep on the down stairs couch.  He woke up and immediately couldn’t stop laughing.  He then took a bunch of pictures of my ripped pants and sent them out to a few of his buddies.  Cool, ass.

At this point, we were both ready to go.  We got out the door only to realize once again that I did not have my keys.  To make matters worse, my car was parked in a handicapped spot.

My keys were never to be seen again, who knows what happened to my wallet, and my car got towed.

Only in college….

This happened freshmen year, my roommate was/is an alcoholic.  I believe it was a Sunday night.  Anyways, he started drinking by himself for some reason.  The great friends that we are of course encouraged him.  My friends and I had an evil plan all along, we were going to “shame” him.  So each of us took a shot or two with him.  We even made him chase a shot with a beer can pong.  At last, he finally passed out and we were able to commenced our shaming process.  We used our beloved sharpies and drew penises all over him.  We then took the saran wrap and wrapped him into what looked like a giant condom followed by dumping trash all over him.   I was his roommate, so course I did not want to wake up with him in the same room, so I slept across the hall.  The next morning, he calls me, “dude, I think someone broke into our room, they made a huge mess and stole some of ‘your’ stuff.”  I go back into my room, and of course, my stuff was thrown around, and some of my stuff was “stolen.”   Of course “they” did not steal anything from him.  I got the stuff back from him eventually.  I think we taught him a good lesson.

Only in college…