From My BDay:

Key Points:

1. drink 1 liter of 151 with my brother in my dorm room
2. go to bar, run into a guy i went to high school with
3. go to his frat, find out about a party
4. walk to said party
5. have a midget light my bong
6. have an asian hooker throw cheez-its at me, for an unsettling amount of time
7. witness a rat being immolated on a barbeque grill
8. realize i’m f****d and about 2 miles from my dorm at 3am in january (reaaaally cold)
9. convince a gas station clerk to my brother and I to warm up while walking home, she hits on my brother, we score free hot dogs.
10. somehow wake up in my dorm room 9 hours later

Only in College…

From Ashley:

So my friends and I decided to tailgate at the ballgame. After tailgating with music for 4 hours the car battery died. Deciding to figure it out after the game, we went in, got more drunk, then came out to find a guy with jumper cables.

Unfortunately the guy that that we found to help jump my car was drunk, and hit mine while trying to get close enough to jump it.

Try explaining that one to your parents…

Only in College…

From Alyssa:

I decided to date 2 guys at once. I wasn’t exclusive with any of them so it was okay-just testing the waters.

Well, my sister decided to come into town, and as she was talking to Ryan, she confused him with Bryan, and said “Oh, you’re not the guy from Boston…I liked the sound of that guy better.” He left me with the bill that night.

Only in College…

From Lynn:

I was at a bar at 9:00 when I saw my roommate walk in. Drunkenly I decided to kick him in the stomach. In the process, I ripped my jeans from the pocket to the crotch. I wasn’t wearing any underwear to top it off. I spend the rest of the night having guys finger my butt. Karma’s a bitch!

Only in College…

From Party God:

My fraternity’s parties were usually in the “basement” of the frat house where the dance floor and beer cooler for the kegs were…except it wasn’t really a basement. It had been built with the house, it was a basement that the fraternity had dug out from underneath the house and cemented in a floor and a wall about 3 ft high along the edges of the dancefloor that people would also dance on. So basically the bottom of the house was the ceiling of the party room, with electrical and speaker wiring and plumbing pipes running wild in every direction imaginable.

Now running above the length of one of the dance walls was a large cast iron pipe about a foot in diameter, and when the party would get really rocking there would usually be several drunks swinging on the pipe junglegym-style out over the edge of the dancefloor.

One night as the party was kicking in high gear, some chicks were swinging on the pipe, and all of a sudden the pipe broke. Along with sending the people swinging on it flying, the end of this huge iron pipe came crashing down and smashed this chick on the dance floor on the head, knocking her out cold.

Hold on, it gets better. This pipe was the MAIN SEWAGE LINE of the house, and it immediately started spewing RAW SEWAGE onto the dance floor. Now because the dance floor was already soaked with spilled beer, mixed drinks, mud and probably some vomit, it took several seconds before the sewage smell registered with the drunks on the dancefloor…but once it did it was like rats fleeing a sinking garbage barge with all the people running off the dance floor from the sewage.

Now according to several frat bros who remained in the party room (I didn’t, as I had quickly fled the sewage tsunami), ALLEGEDLY one of the bros with a reputation for eating ANYTHING (I can personally attest to this…I saw him bite the head off a frog, chew up live caterpillars and a goldfish) picked up a plastic beer cup, scooped up some of the sewage and took a sip. I do know he had to go to the ER later that night to have his stomach pumped, but I doubt that it was because he sipped on raw sewage. I personally believe it was just from drinking so much.

Only in College (Texas)…

From Chica:

At a rugby party (University of Washignton, or UDUB!), they had about 8 kegs and about 100-150 people show up. I didn’t really know most of the people there so I went around and started introducing my self to random groups, especially the hot guys of course.

I had a joint in my purse, I decided to hold it but not lit it, and the first person to ask if that’s a joint I will smoke it with him or her. About twenty minutes go by and this guy is like “hey, is that a joint?” Finally! I replied, “yes you wanna burn?” He replied with “man this is like some where’s waldo shit, I’m glad I found someone with a joint.” He asks if he can grab a buddy and we go to burn.

This dude also lives in the house, so we go to his room to burn. While we’re smoking people kept coming to his door and are trying to get in, everyone got turned away. Later, someone just won’t stop banging on the door and they claimed they were the Seattle Fire department.

We did not realize the house was on fire and all of us are just chillin in his room. We open the door and left the house. Everyone else in the house were already evacuated and we were still smoking haha. It turns out someone up stairs had put a cig in a trash can and caught the upstairs on fire. Fire fighters put the blaze out, which destroyed a room and the party just continues. Will never forget that party.

Only in College (UDub)…

From Soccer Guy:

At this ‘girls soccer team’ party at MSU, I was tryin to get this girl to do a kegstand and she was like ‘no no I can’t’ which someone took as ‘hell yeah lets do it’. Two dudes grabed her legs and she forgot to hold the keg. She flopped down and smacked her face off the cement floor in the basement. got up lookin like she was about to cry. There was like a three second silence and then everyone just bursted out laughin.

Later, my friend pissed on some soccer chick while she was sleeping. That was funny too.

Only in College (MSU)…

From Anonymous:

I finished all of my exams this year before Cinco de Mayo. I decided I was going to go all out on my last night of school, and celebrate the holiday right…with tequila! I am usually a heavy drinker so I took way more than enough (somewhere around 20 non-normal sized shots). Needless to say I do not remember leaving my dorm that night and even going to the frat house where i made out with 2 boys…surprisingly enough, even after that, everyone thought that I was fine…up until I fell down a flight of stairs… when a police officer saw me fall he came over to ask if I was alright and noticed that I was very intoxicated…after refusing a breathalyzer test he insisted that I go to the hospital…he called the ambulance and I woke up with an IV in my arm and a heart monitor taped to my chest, wondering where I was and how i got there!! The nurses told me that I had a .35 alcohol level and that I could have died…but that I handled the alcohol very well and they were surprised by my BAC because I was a completely functional. Earlier, she tells me I decided that the emergency room floor was a toilet and I peed on it! At least I can handle myself when drunk!

Only in College…

From Reg:

I was at a formal dinner at UNSW, as usual by about 9:30, everyone was shitfaced and the dancefloor hookups were beginning to start. This really fat and to be frank, hideously ugly couple were having a bit of a jive but nothing more.

Anyway, at some point the two escaped and for some unknown reason decided to go to the dead middle of the oval and have wild sex in a variety of positions. Being pitch black and a huge oval they must have thought it was a relatively discreet place.

So how do I know they had sex? The publications director and amateur photographer/film maker had slyly followed them out the door and sat down in the clubroom stadium with his cam and telescopic zoom lens. He got the whole thing on camera! He went back in to the dinner (which was winding up) and announced that he’d gotten something ‘juicy’ on tape. At least half the college went back to the TV room and watched these two going for it.

Halfway through, the couple in question walked into the room and saw themselves on the big screen. They weren’t impressed.

The cinematographer got in deep, deep shit over that one!

Only in College (UNSW)…

From Anonymous:

Not exactly a crazy story but one event that stands out in my mind was when two chicks (best friends) invited me up to their apartment for some cheap drinks. They had a never ending supply of ghetto beer, and before long we were all totally trashed.

Then–to this day I have no idea what triggered it–I started getting depressed and whiny about my life, and these two drunk chicks were trying to talk me down. As soon as I calm down, I start making out with one of them (she reciprocated), and the other one sort of flipped out, saying “Oh my God, oh my God!” and running into her room–her expression was priceless. This other girl–keep in mind that I had just met her that night–and I were stumbling around in the apartment trying to get our clothes off, and we finally made it into a room. Unfortunately for us, we were both way too drunk to either get off or do anything serious, so we both sort of got tired and passed out.

The next morning was the second most mortified of my life.

Only in College…

From Buckeye:

Home game for the Buckeyes, the lame Wolverines were in town to play football about 2 years ago. I was at a party with about 30 people at ten in the morning on 12th street (OSU campus). Some out-of-towners with Michigan plates rolls up on the street, and parallel parks into a student parking spot along the street right in front of our party.

You’d have to be a shitbrick to park your car with MI plates in front of a porch full of drunk, obnoxious OSU fans. So they get out of the car, we exchange “Michigan sucks…no OSU sucks….Ann Arbor is a whore….Columbus still sucks..” comments back and forth and the old couple takes folding chairs from their trunk and head down High St.

To make a long story short, the couple came back after the game to find their newer Honda Accord upside down and on fire with 3 guys standing on top of it doing beer bongs.

Only in College (OSU)…

From Devil:

I’m leaving Duke this year, so I decided to have a good bye party for all my close girlfriends. I (yes, Franzia). I pulled out all the stops to get various drugs. Of course, half of my friends were weenies who only wanted to drink, but I got the other half on stimulants and weed along with the alcohol. Over the course of the night, we drank almost all of the beers and half the box of wine. I didn’t really have a clear plan of what we were going to do, but i’d bought some crayola markers on a whim, and we ended up drawing all over each other. It started out nice and conservative with little messages: ‘I’m going to miss you’ and stuff, but by the end of the night, we were just scrawling obscenities all over each other. I had ‘cunt’ on my inner thigh and ‘fuck buddy’ on my shoulder among many other things.

I also made the rule that you couldn’t come unless you wore ‘weird shit’ and my friends deifnitely took this to heart. I was wearing this really short vintage Mexican style dress that was green with a huge red ruffle. My friend was wearing a swimsuit from the 1950s that had little shorts on it and blue and white polka dots. Two other girls were wearing shirts and sesame street underwear. We were in my dorm, so when we went out to have cigarettes and stuff, we ran into all the sober people, and we were wearing costumes and had writing all over us, which was one of the best parts in my opinion. Over the course of the night, we also managed to have several hikes outside to pee in weird places (sort of a weird tradition with my friends.)

It wasn’t a particualrly big or well-stocked in terms of drugs/alcohol or in-a-bar party, but everyone swore it was the best time we’d had all year. it was good that we all enjoyed it so much b/c crayola marker does not come off very easily, especially multiple layers of it! i ended up just leaving it on for awhile. Plus, the substances in conjunction with the marker did give al my friends at Duke a chance to say goodbye to me and stuff. They made me a huge number of signs with the markers, too, which I bounded into a book. Suffice to say, one was a poem: ‘roses are red, violets are blue, we’ll miss em, and need a new drug connoisseur too!’

Only in College (Duke)…